Completely Made-up Omens Which Will Probably Come True
Send E. Jean's
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Today's Horrorscope Monday February 8th |
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If you need to say something important, be creative.
Aries
[March 21 - April 19]
Do not lie to people in order to spare their feelings!
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Taurus
[April 20 - May 20]
Everything you do in life...do it to make sure your funeral will be super sad and super packed.
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Gemini
[May 21 - June 20]
Running is the key to romance!
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Cancer
[June 21 - July 22]
Do not be fooled by your attraction to someone!
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Leo
[July 23 - August 22]
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Virgo
[August 23 - September 23]
Something bad is going to happen when you are doing something fun.
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Libra
[September 24 - October 22]
Don't let people patronize you!!!
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Scorpio
[October 23 - November 22]
Someone is going to ask you a simple question. Do not overreact!
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Sagittarius
[November 23 - December 24]
How do you advance in your career when your boss is so mean?
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Capricorn
[December 25 - January 19]
Do not be heartless!!!
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Aquarius
[January 20 - February 18]
Do not bet on the underdog.
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Pisces
[February 19 - March 20]
Don't let your friends pollute their bodies!
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The Dope Blogoscope:
A Quack Recommends the Best and Worst of the Blogosphere
The Good
Danni Minogue recently took to her Twitter to put to rest rumours that she is filming a reality show about her recent pregnancy.
I thought that this reality show idea sounded too cheesy for a Minogue. The Minogue sisters are the coolest famous sisters since Tia and Tamara.
-Keith Hunt February 8, 2010
The Bad
Taylor Lautner has just been cast to play Stretch Armstrong in an upcoming 3D movie. I'm a bit mad that he took my dream role.
-Keith Hunt February 8, 2010
The Terrible
Did you happen to catch Carrie Underwood singing the national anthem at the SuperBowl last night?
A little pitchy at the end, wasn't she? Oh well. Happens to the best of them. Besides, Carrie's my new favorite because I recently saw her in a conference answering a joke question with a joke. Any girl that knows how to improv like that should be my girlfriend.
Give me a ring, Carrie. Until then, I will be practicing my voice by reading out loud every day, so that, when you call, my voice doesn't screech likes yours did at the end of the national anthem.
-Keith Hunt February 8, 2010
