Dr. Kim - A Word from The Good Doctor

by: Kimberly Maier
Clackamas Community College
The Clackamas Print

When she finished with her lecture about the Anatomy and Physiology of the human reproductive system, she collected the book that had horrified and threatened all the girls with the “curse” of their periods, and asked if anyone had any questions they would like to ask. I stared around the room at 25 silent pre-pubescents, all sitting on their hands for fear she would think someone scratching their hair wanted to know more about sex.



My hand shot up in the air proudly, for I had never been told that sex was an ugly secret. My schoolmates gasped.



“What does semen smell like?” I asked.



“Well, umm...” The lazy eyed nurse stammered. “Well...” She stopped and cleared her throat, confident that she could answer this one while still upholding her dignity. “You know... uhhh... just like any other bodily fluid, it has it's own scent.”



That was her answer and she was sticking to it.



Two negative things happened as a result of this experience. 1.) My friends thought I was completely disturbed 2.) I went on for years trying to determine if semen smelled like sweat, urine or worse – feces.



Let's jump forward in time, shall we? Last year, I was lucky enough to convince the editorial staff at the Clackamas Print to let me write my own advice column. They even put my picture on it, and allowed me to pass out flyers to attract questions for “Dr. Kim” on campus. It was not a sex column by any means.



As the letters came pouring in, it turned out that many of them were about relationships and sex. Six months into the column writing experience, Elle Magazine columnist E. Jean Carroll asked me if I would contribute the column as a sex column on the askejean website.



I was reluctant at first, because I didn't think my lifestyle fit the description of a sex columnist. Then I decided that all you really need is a healthy reserve of synonyms for the words penis and vagina and an open mind. Now I write about everything from intimacy to anal sex.



Little did I know, that I was about to encounter the same reaction from my peers in college that I did when I was just a wee youngster in sex ed class. I should have listened when they all told me sex is a dirty secret that no one talks about.



In the beginning, I thought it was cool to be recognized from the paper. People would be reading The Print in the cafeteria, and they would ask, “Are you Dr. Kim?”



I quickly learned that, depending on what the content in my column was that week, sometimes the answer should be, “No. I've never seen that woman before in my life.”





Word started spreading that Dr. Kim is a vulgar, unclean slut.



My editorial staff started questioning if the content in Dr. Kim was appropriate for a school newspaper. In a room of conservative, pure-minded, annoyed editors, I was reminded once again that sex is a dirty secret, and if I talk about it, I'm a bad, bad girl.



The truth is, the judgment doesn't bother me. Having sex doesn't make you a bad, unclean person, talking about it doesn't make you a temptress, and writing about it sure doesn't qualify you as a whore. I'm a stay at home mother and full-time student. I can count the number of sexual partners I've had on one hand.



Sex is not a dirty secret, and we should talk about it. Think of all the girls like me, who walk around afraid of sex because they think semen smells like urine. If we all felt more comfortable talking about the natural event of sex, girls might be more honest with their parents about needing birth control. Women might be more open to telling their gynecologist the truth about their sexual history, and new couples would be brave enough to ask when the last time was their partner was tested for STD's.



I'm not just a sex columnist – I'm a sexual super hero!