Between the Sheets

by: Leigh Raines
Lehigh University
The Brown and White

Samantha Jones; the poster child, excuse me- woman, for the sexually liberated, outspoken and confident female of today. She was headstrong in her quest to prove that women could go out and have sex like men. Her fervor spread like wildfire.

Essentially, I think that a large portion of our generation has come to embrace the notion of casual sex. As Laura Sessions Stepp explores in her book, “Unhooked”, our culture has become a place where people are detaching sex from love or even emotion at all. We like to keep our affairs compartmentalized; certain people in certain boxes. As a close friend of mine recently stated “He’s the type of guy I’d want to marry someday, but he’s not for right now.”

Sadly, I nodded my head in agreement because I understood exactly what she meant. I say sadly because, here he is, a great, friendly, adorable, smart, social guy, but she doesn’t want it. And I’m not surprised. She’s not ready to settle down. She’s not ready for reality. Is anybody at 22? Hell is anybody under 30?

It seems like society has flipped the switch. Instead of girls going to college to get their “mrs” degree, they go to sow their wild oats. Oh and learn. Decades before us women fought for equality among the genders. While I’m under the assumption that they were outwardly fighting for equality when it came to things like career opportunities, education, and salaries, I think deeper down they just plain wanted to be able to go out there and get away with the same things men do. Anybody who knows that a guy and girl sleep with the same amount of people and proceed to consider him a pimp and her a slut, is seriously behind the times. Our society has shifted.

No longer are we looking to slide on a diamond, strap on the apron, and start tending to a husband straight out of school. We want careers, we want casual sex, we want lives.

However, I bring up this whole notion because there is a certain side effect of it that’s been plaguing me. While we may be taking the leaps and bounds to bring equality and acceptance to the idea of casual sex, are we completely abandoning emotion, thought, and reason? Do we still need romance and chemistry? Are we headed down an unhealthy path?

Yes, a quick lay is one thing. Sometimes you just want sex and that’s the bottom line. Or maybe you’re not ready for a relationship, but your hormones are still raging. I’m not talking about the difference between dating someone for fun and dating someone you see a real future with. I’m talking straight up lack of emotion. It seems like more and more that we are getting to a point that we’re delaying going for something or someone great because we’re so immersed in the idea of casual sex and sowing our oats, that everything else seems burdensome and insensible. Are we getting too casual with our feelings?

Remember crushes? Those things that made the pit of your stomach go wild? Nowadays it seems that crushes are limited to spotting a guy across the bar, feeling butterflies for a second and then diving in. Good old-fashion crushes can be healthy. Maybe I’m an old-fashioned girl, but I find something more fulfilling when there is meaning behind it. I’m not saying that everyone should go jump into a relationship. Just that maybe if we knew more than a guy’s first name, where he went to college and what he does now before we hop into the sack with them, maybe we’d all come out feeling a little more satisfied.