Ask E. Jean - Tormented? Driven Witless? Whipsawed by confusion?

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Hello everyone! I enjoy this forum as it feels like I am talking to my best friends!

Ok so I am seeing a guy, we've been in a loving and committed relationship for 7 weeks now. I am 37 years old and I sadly, finally have a REAL relationship.

So I need your advice:
How do you get comfortable sleeping and living with a guy?
I avoid going #2 around him and I sometimes fart in my sleep so I am often lying there terrified at night and/or holding it in and then being super exhausted and uncomfortable.

I know we are human and his humanness doesn't bother me.
As a woman who has nearly slept alone her whole life, how do you get comfortable?

I adore him, he adores me. I'd love to be myself and just let it fly at night haha

Thank you xoxo

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    So I'm guessing your boyfriend is also an adult? Which means he's been through this before. You want to be at your best in a new relationship but eventually, demonstrating that you are, in fact, a human being, will just happen. So let it happen. After the first time (which, you will have to gird your loins for), it gets easier until it's no big deal at all - really, it does. And get a bottle of Poo-pouri if you're nervous about dropping a deuce at his place.

    reply to Jill
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    When it happens -- and it WILL happen, you can't keep your intestines clenched forever -- make a light joke out if it. "Well, I guess I really AM comfortable around you!"

    Don't make it a big thing, or launch into a flurry of apologies. Just treat it like the brief, mildly amusing human incident it really is ... and he'll follow suit.


    reply to Kal
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    Listen to Jill and Kal. Human beings can be messy and stinky and all sorts of things we like to pretend that we're not.

    But if your guy is going to be put off by your basic humanity, then he doesn't want a relationship with a living, breathing woman, he wants an unrealistic bleached plastic fantasy. Do you really think that's what he wants?

    There is a gracious line between letting it all hang out and holding it in until you're miserable, and I'm sure you'll figure out where that line is for you.

    One way to help that process along is to actually talk to him about it. It doesn't have to be a serious, OMG-this-is-an-issue talk, but if you can't bring up something this fundamental to your comfort level in the relationship, what are you going to do when something truly serious comes up?

    Whatever you decide to do, I wish you luck! <3

    reply to Robynne
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    Robynne wrote: Listen to Jill and Kal. Human beings can be messy and stinky and all sorts of things we like to pretend that we're not. But if your guy is going to be put off by your basic humanity, then he doesn't want a relationship with a living, breathing woman, he wants an unrealistic bleached plastic fantasy. Do you really think that's what he wants? There is a gracious line between letting it all hang out and holding it in until you're miserable, and I'm sure you'll figure out where that line is for you. One way to help that process along is to actually talk to him about it. It doesn't have to be a serious, OMG-this-is-an-issue talk, but if you can't bring up something this fundamental to your comfort level in the relationship, what are you going to do when something truly serious comes up? Whatever you decide to do, I wish you luck! <3

    Isn't that the truth?
    I am not a gross slob, I have manners. But I am human too and that's just how it goes.
    Much love and thank you so much ladies!

    reply to anonymous
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