Ask E. Jean - Tormented? Driven Witless? Whipsawed by confusion?

Advice Vixens


Why do you keep asking us about this guy??? I'm not sure if you're for real or just putting us on. If this is a legitimate question, my answer is: YES - GIVE UP. THIS GUY IS NOT WORTH ANY MORE OF YOUR TIME. I don't know how to make this any more clear or get through to you.

Maybe you are a glutton for punishment or heartbreak, in which case go ahead and keep letting him jerk you around until he does the unforgivable and really hurts you. But if you have even a shred of self-respect, stop trying to contact him.

reply to Jill
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As you've not listed one single positive thing about this jerk?

You know the answer.

And if you need our permission not to contact him? Fine, you have it.

But life will be much easier for you going forward if you remember the following:

Life is far too short to spend time with (or pine for) someone who makes you feel miserable. And if you ARE spending time with someone who makes you feel miserable, you get to leave -- with no need to justify it to anyone else.

reply to Kal
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Jill wrote: Why do you keep asking us about this guy??? I'm not sure if you're for real or just putting us on. If this is a legitimate question, my answer is: YES - GIVE UP. THIS GUY IS NOT WORTH ANY MORE OF YOUR TIME. I don't know how to make this any more clear or get through to you. Maybe you are a glutton for punishment or heartbreak, in which case go ahead and keep letting him jerk you around until he does the unforgivable and really hurts you. But if you have even a shred of self-respect, stop trying to contact him.

i understand your frustration. however it does not condone your nastiness. everyone's imperfect, and if you lash out like this, you are exactly same as this guy or even worse as you claim to be better.

reply to anonymous
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I'm not being nasty. I'm trying - unsuccessfully, it appears - to prevent you from making a mistake that will give you nothing but heartbreak. We gave you some very sound advice. This guy was not worth a nanosecond of your time or effort but you kept giving it to him. He treated you horribly and you asked whether you should contact him again - and we said NO. Then you came back and said you did contact him and asked whether you should continue to pursue him. What other answer were you expecting??

If a friend of yours told you about a guy who treated her badly, wouldn't you tell her not to waste her time? And if she came back after doing exactly the opposite of your excellent advice and asked you if she should continue pursuing this guy, wouldn't you wonder whether she's got a screw loose or something?

The thing is, if you are going to ask for advice, you have to be prepared to not get the exact answer that you want to hear. That's not what we do. And that doesn't make us mean or nasty. What we do is give the advice that we thinks would best serve your interests. Not spending any more time or effort on this jerk is in your best interests.

reply to Jill
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