Ask E. Jean - Tormented? Driven Witless? Whipsawed by confusion?

Advice Vixens

Vixens, I have posted about my bad breakup couple of days back here but just today I received a message from a guy friend who has asked me to stay at his place next weekend. He wants to play around and get kinky with me. I on the other hand donít but my mind is so fucked up due to the breakup that I told him ďyes, okayĒ. I donít wanna do something I am gonna regret later. He has no clue about my breakup. He didnít even know I was in a live in relationship. My mind and heart has both stopped working after taking all the pain.

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    Oh, Anon. This post just breaks my heart.

    Cancel immediately.

    You're a living, breathing woman. You are not a blow-up doll. You are not a sex toy. You don't owe *anyone* sex.

    Also, back up a second. What kind of "friend" doesn't know that you were in a live-in relationship? Or that it ended?

    Friends are, by definition, people who are involved in your life. Who know you. Who love and support you.

    Honey, cancel. Seriously. This is not a friend. This is someone trying to take advantage of a confused woman with a broken heart.

    Cancel, and then block his ass. You deserve so much better.

    reply to Robynne
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    Yes, you get to cancel with no worries, no guilt, and no explanation needed. Just 'sorry, changed my mind, not a good time', and that's really all you need to say.

    I'm with Robynne that this guy is not your friend. The timing is extremely suspicious: you really believe that he didn't hear about the breakup through the grapevine somehow?

    In any event, even if you are resistant to blocking him right away? I would strongly advise that if he gets back to you with a message that intimates AT ALL that you owe him anything -- I mean if he even HINTS at anything like that -- block him immediately thereafter.

    reply to Kal
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    Robynne wrote: Oh, Anon. This post just breaks my heart. Cancel immediately. You're a living, breathing woman. You are not a blow-up doll. You are not a sex toy. You don't owe *anyone* sex. Also, back up a second. What kind of "friend" doesn't know that you were in a live-in relationship? Or that it ended? Friends are, by definition, people who are involved in your life. Who know you. Who love and support you. Honey, cancel. Seriously. This is not a friend. This is someone trying to take advantage of a confused woman with a broken heart. Cancel, and then block his ass. You deserve so much better.

    The thing is, he's just my casual friend. When he texted, I told him I am not in a right state of mind. He then invited me to stay over his place and said we would do all that shit. First, I agreed but later I hated the idea of being physical with someone who's not capable enough to understand my issue.

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    Kal wrote: Yes, you get to cancel with no worries, no guilt, and no explanation needed. Just 'sorry, changed my mind, not a good time', and that's really all you need to say. I'm with Robynne that this guy is not your friend. The timing is extremely suspicious: you really believe that he didn't hear about the breakup through the grapevine somehow? In any event, even if you are resistant to blocking him right away? I would strongly advise that if he gets back to you with a message that intimates AT ALL that you owe him anything -- I mean if he even HINTS at anything like that -- block him immediately thereafter.

    I just texted him saying, I am cancelling, changed my mind.

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    Thank you vixens so much for your advice!

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    anonymous wrote: Thank you vixens so much for your advice!

    You are so welcome! I'm so glad that you canceled, and I hope that your poor heart heals quickly and well.

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