Ask E. Jean - Tormented? Driven Witless? Whipsawed by confusion?

Advice Vixens

How do you guys manage anger with your significant other? When i get angry i just lose it. I remember all the terrible things the other person did and I stay angry for days. I just want to lash out. I start thinking my spouse is the most terrible person ever.
How do you decide what is reasonable and what is not? I have always seen some of my friends in wonderful marriages and they always appreciate their spouses. Some how a lot of times what ever the other person does I still expect more. No matter whom I am with I always feel other peoples SO's are much nicer which is not really the case.
How do I manage my anger? I think somehow in close relationships I am not at all forgiving and i have too many expectations.
In my previous relationship looking back I realize that my ex was a keeper. But i still expected more from him and I had double standards. At the time when i would get angry a lot of times he was just the scapegoat because I was in a lousy situation. I always felt my anger was justified at the time. But looking back I feel it was uncalled for quite a few times. How do I not go down that path again?

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    I just posted something about this in your other question.

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