Ask E. Jean - Tormented? Driven Witless? Whipsawed by confusion?

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My boyfriend's breath stinks due to his teeth which he refuses to get worked on even though he has insurance! In the morning it's so awful that I don't want to face him or snuggle, let alone let him on top of me. He knows it stinks and has good oral hygiene, which I'm sure will surprise some of you, but this is an issue for the dentist.

I don't want to kiss him 9/10 of the time because of it and I don't know what to do about it. I don't want to shame him it guilt him but it's quite disgusting and it makes me push him away. Why wouldn't you just get it taken care of?

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    Well, sometimes men ignore health issues and people in general can be in denial too.
    If the situation is bad enough that you cannot even stomach the idea of kissing him or be next to him, then it is time to lose the velvet gloves and go at it directly.

    Just tell him that, even though he has good hygiene, his breath is really bad and he needs to see a doctor right now. If you, his girlfriend cannot even be less than 2 feet away from him, you can easily imagine other people know this too and avoid him. You would be doing everyone a favor.

    Sometimes people need to be told directly what is wrong and what you need.
    Frame is nicely but directly and hope it all works out.

    reply to Gerbera
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    This could actually be a major health issue. Persistent bad breath -- particularly for someone who has good oral hygiene -- can be an early warning sign of gum disease, liver disease, kidney disease, type 2 diabetes, or other serious ailments.

    He has insurance, so there is no reason not to get this checked right away. Encourage him to do so, and force him if you must. Because this is not about his breath. It's about his health -- this could be a symptom of a very, very serious issue.

    BUT an issue that, if it's caught early, could be controlled.

    Good luck!

    reply to Kal
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