The problem is, you don't trust him enough - because he's not trustworthy. He claims he is a supportive partner, yet he wants to break up with you because your lack of orgasms threatens his ego??? (He's lying, by the way. Or the women have been faking.) And he's making sure you know the problem is just with you when in fact you don't have a problem with orgasms on your own. And very few women can orgasm from just intercourse; the vast majority need direct stimulation. Any guy who tries to tell you otherwise is not worth your time.
So the problem isn't you - it's him.
Frankly, you shouldn't be worried about whether or not he's going to dump you. You should dump him. Because the longer you stay with him, the worse he will make you feel about yourself, just to appease his ego. If it were me, the first time he pulled that crap I'd kick him to the curb so fast he'd bounce.
The right guy for you will be the one who is willing to take the time to learn what works for you. Figuring out what works best for each other is part of the bonding process; no one gets it perfect right away. And yes - keep asking for what you need. But not from this guy. Wipe him off your shoes and move on.
So the problem isn't you - it's him.
Frankly, you shouldn't be worried about whether or not he's going to dump you. You should dump him. Because the longer you stay with him, the worse he will make you feel about yourself, just to appease his ego. If it were me, the first time he pulled that crap I'd kick him to the curb so fast he'd bounce.
The right guy for you will be the one who is willing to take the time to learn what works for you. Figuring out what works best for each other is part of the bonding process; no one gets it perfect right away. And yes - keep asking for what you need. But not from this guy. Wipe him off your shoes and move on.
reply to Jill
send this answer to a friendWe broke up. I’m actually angry. The whole time we were dating, he said he was sensitive, supportive, self-aware, spiritual...what a load of crap. He said he can’t be with some and will lose sexual interest if he can’t make me orgasm. I told him my situation and that I just need time, his love, and I’ll open up more, trust more and I’ll be able to eventually. I just need to bond and get to know each other more. Learn to trust again.
Nope! I guess I’m too much trouble. I cannot believe that a jerk can exist like this. What a liar. I can’t believe it. I know I’m better off alone but I can’t believe he said that to me, he’s a hypocrite. Talking how he mentors, helps people...douche bag needs to be there for the people he dates!!!!
Nope! I guess I’m too much trouble. I cannot believe that a jerk can exist like this. What a liar. I can’t believe it. I know I’m better off alone but I can’t believe he said that to me, he’s a hypocrite. Talking how he mentors, helps people...douche bag needs to be there for the people he dates!!!!
reply to anonymous
send this answer to a friendAll his talk about being such a supportive and great guy is just his attempt to put shiny wrapping paper around a turd. He doesn't sound like any of the things he claims to be - generally speaking, if a guy says he is those things, he's usually the opposite.
If it helps, visualize him as a bit of excrescence stuck to the bottom of your shoe and scrape him off.
If it helps, visualize him as a bit of excrescence stuck to the bottom of your shoe and scrape him off.
reply to Jill
send this answer to a friend
Anon, you dodged a bullet. Sex is a thing that two people do together. He wanted you to be the stage he strutted around on, and the audience applauding his performance.
F*ck that noise.
You have every right to be angry. But, I hope that it passes and that soon you'll be able to laugh at him for the pathetic assclown that he is.
F*ck that noise.
You have every right to be angry. But, I hope that it passes and that soon you'll be able to laugh at him for the pathetic assclown that he is.
reply to Robynne
send this answer to a friendRobynne wrote: Anon, you dodged a bullet. Sex is a thing that two people do together. He wanted you to be the stage he strutted around on, and the audience applauding his performance.
F*ck that noise.
You have every right to be angry. But, I hope that it passes and that soon you'll be able to laugh at him for the pathetic assclown that he is.
reply to anonymous
send this answer to a friend
I love you ladies. Thank you for bringing me awareness and cheering me up.
reply to anonymous
send this answer to a friend- [ Ask E.Jean Videos ]
- [ Advice Vixens ]
- [ Vixen Virtuosos ]
- [ E. Jean's Elle Columns ]
more questions
Newest Q's Most Popular Newest A's
Newest Q's Most Popular Newest A's
- Vixens, do all men watch porn?
I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. For the most part, he's great, but I have ... view
posted 08/19/10 1:46pm by SPECIAL VIXEN QUESTION
11 comments; last 05/29/20 4:21PM - Can chemistry be one sided? I am INSANELY attracted to one of my students. Now catch this: I am 49, he is 27. Sounds ... view
posted 11/13/18 3:35pm by anonymous
1 comments; last 11/13/18 4:49PM - Do we have any runners here?
Why do you run?
How often do you run?
Advice for beginners? view
posted 04/18/18 10:40pm by Anon
1 comments; last 04/21/18 1:56AM - i recently met a guy i like. there are a couple of issues - his penis is small compared to guys i've been with, seems ... view
posted 03/06/18 9:54pm by anonymous
2 comments; last 03/12/18 3:20AM - I’m 33 and just started dating a man who’s 45. Previous to him, I did not date or have sex for 3 years. I just ... view
posted 11/11/17 10:14am by anonymous
6 comments; last 11/20/17 6:01PM
TOP VIXENS
I gave myself time to heal. I had a massive wall up.
With this new relationship, I told the man my situation.
We had sex and I did not orgasm. We had it again twice and still I did not. Yet, I can on my own just fine. With previous boyfriends, they were very selfish, I didn’t speak up so even then I only orgasmed a few times.
Now that I’m older, I’m taking control of my pleasure and making sure I do orgasm. I just never had the chance until now.
This guy is taking it extremely personally that I’m not and he even went to break up with me because “he makes women orgasm multiple times easily and I can’t”.
I’m shocked. I told him my situation, I explained I need time to trust, open up. Each time I see him I get better and better. How can I drop my wall knowing he’s ready to dump me over this? How insensitive.
(Yet he claims to be a supportive partner!)
Anyway, I’ve always had a tough time trying to orgasm in intercourse. It can happen, I need direct stimulation but it’s didficult. I’m much more responsive to oral. He tried and I was very close but it was not working for me. I just need time to get to know him, live him etc that’s how my body will eventually respond....
-What are your thoughts?
-I really like him but after seeing this attitude (from a grown man) I almost want to break up. It’s a shame because this was really promising. I just can’t believe it.
-Is there maybe something wrong with me?
-How do I figure out or practise intercourse if I have no man
Any thoughts, suggestions help. Thank you.
for Best Advice