Ask E. Jean - Tormented? Driven Witless? Whipsawed by confusion?

Advice Vixens

My boyfriend has been talking about his ambivalence toward our relationship for several weeks. I was hoping it would just somehow resolve itself. This week we were both busy and haven't spoken much. Just now he sent a text saying we need to find time to chat. I'm so sure he's going to be nice and tell me it's over. I don't want to break up and I don't to cry and be all pathetic. I don't even want to answer the text. What do I do?

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    You bite the bullet and answer the text. Because this break-up sounds inevitable and the sooner it happens, the sooner you can start getting over him. The longer you drag it out, the more upset you will be. And he may become irritated at your attempt to dodge this and may not be as kind as he could be.

    Now that you know his heart's not in it, would you want him to stay with you out of duty? That would get pretty old for both of you. You deserve a guy who will stick around because he wants to. That guy is out there somewhere, but it's not your current boyfriend.

    And it's okay if you cry - that's not pathetic; it shows that you care about what is happening. And it's a natural response to losing a relationship you want to stay in. So don't beat yourself up over a perfectly natural emotional response. Unless this guy is an idiot, he already knows you're going to be hurt.

    If it helps, start your preparations for post-breakup. Queue up those series you want to binge-watch. Dust off the punching bag. Stock up on your favourite ice cream. Sometimes planning how you are going to get over someone can help with the process.

    reply to Jill
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    Excellent advice by Jill. :) It can be really painful when someone you like does not feel the same way. But its better to end things with them rather than worry everyday about whether they will end things today.
    I think you deserve someone who likes you for who you are and would be there with you no matter.
    That person is out there somewhere. Bite the bullet and talk to your boyfriend.
    Life is too beautiful to be spent with someone who does not value you. Good luck and let me know how it goes.

    reply to Shalini
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    If itís over, itís over - both parties have to want to be there. Itís better to know the truth. If he wants out, yes you will feel pain, but facing it head on brings you that much closer to having what you really want.

    reply to Lotus
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