Ask E. Jean - Tormented? Driven Witless? Whipsawed by confusion?

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I am 28 and I just finished my masters in management. It took me a long time to find the courage to apply to the program, move out of my parents house, and move to another country to study. Now the year has finished, and my anxieties and self-doubt have all come back. I am now looking for jobs and almost immediately after reading a job description, I can hear a voice in my head saying "You'll never get it. You're not good enough" I have so much crippling self-doubt (when it comes to my career and when it comes to my personal/romantic life) that I cannot move forward. Then these thoughts spiral and spill over into my anxieties about my romantic life I feel like anyone I would even try to date would smell my lack of confidence from a mile away. How can a 28 year old be this confused and think so little of herself? Why would any man want to be with someone who thinks so little of herself (they wouldn't)? And more practically, someone who STILL hasn't got a career? I moved across the world to do my masters and I was so afraid nothing would change, and it feels like nothing has. Have you ever had this much self-doubt? How did you overcome it?

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    Yes I did too. At times, I still do. You're proof: Eventboigh you're so scared and have these doubts, you moved out, you did your masters and you moved across the world. See, evidence you can accomplish so much despite all the lack of confidence. I focus on what I did so far. You do the same. Apply for the jobs. I too was thinking"I'll never get this" or "A man could never want me.". Leave the men. Focus on the job. Apply. You finished your masters, clearly you're smart. Which means you can do the job. Don't know everything? That's ok. If you're determined and motivated, you'll succeed and they will love you. I applied for countless jobs where when I was asked in the interview, "Do you know this and this..." I said "No, no, no..." but I made sure to say that I finished all this school so it's proof I am smart, I find answers if I don't know, and I'm determined to take action." I got jobs because of this. You're your own proof. Do it anyway, I did too. After I'd cry because I was so scared and full of self doubt. That's ok. You've got this! As for guys, be picky. If they smell doubt, that's fine. Just do not let them sweet talk you and use you. Dump them immediately. They love weak women. That's my mistake. Due to my lack of confidence, I let guys use me. You're better than that. Better to wait than have that. The right guy will see you're a catch even if you're lacking confidence.

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