Vixens: How do you let go of someone who was your whole world for years?
My ex-boyfriend was incredibly charming and incredibly successful. He was moody - mean whenever he felt like it. He didn't let me plan anything in advance - it was only when he felt like doing something. For example we took a week vacation in the south with only two days notice - super exciting, but another time I had taken 2 weeks off work to spend on vacation with him and then he decided to keep going to work. In general I just kept kind of waiting for him - and then he would be just absolutely wonderful for a while, sometimes for several months at a time.
I know this is textbook controlling behaviour. I know he saw me as his, and I'm over-educated and reasonably successful in life, but I didn't see anything wrong with this sort of possessiveness.
I was conflicted about leaving - I wanted someone who was consistently nice, but it was ultimately his decision, he told me all he ever felt for me is gone and now he's out womanizing - he did not cheat while we were together - not that it really matters.
I need to know I'll find someone I love as much and who is actually nice. I'm fit, I'm pretty. I see people half as successful as my ex-boyfriend and I think they are way out of my league. But on the other hand, I spend days at work interacting with people who run giant companies, so I end up having little tolerance for mild people. And then I read that Susan Forward, the author of the book on Men who Hate Women, said she would never find someone as great as her abusive ex-husband - in good times or something to this effect. I'm feeling quite doomed.
This is not articulate, but I need to know how not to loose hope that I'll fall in love again. I want there to be a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Does anyone have any words of wisdom?
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