Ask E. Jean - Tormented? Driven Witless? Whipsawed by confusion?

Advice Vixens

Hey vixens,

Barbara's sister here. I am in a huge crisis with an international scam artists (no, really) and I need your advice.

So very long story short I work for a ballroom dance studio chain and around November 2016 and he ended up staying with my family and I at our house for the first few months (studio owners paid us rent, so it was fair).

But as it turns out (as Barbara and I suspected) he was very secretive and turned out to be an international scam artist and has over 15 counts against him throughout Eastern Europe and Germany and ended up getting fired once that was all found out and was immediately asked to pack and leave our house (which he did).

But he left behind a huge pile of raggedy clothes and reached out to us sometimes about them but nothing every really came of it. Messaged my sister a lot about them but not me.

He was fired and left January 24th and his clothes have been in our house since then and just about two weeks ago I finally dropped them off at good will

Of COURSE it just so happens he messaged me right away within days asking for them again out of the blue and I told him I gave his clothes to good will.

He literally then went from 0 to 60 and wrote me back saying the following:

He said:

"Dear Amanda,

1. your sister told me something else.
2. it was not legal of you to give away my belongings away or throw them away etc after you, your mum and sister confirmed me at your house and after in written form that you will take care and sent it to me what your sister even confirmed to me last night!
3. i also dont believe you that you have sended out my package where i left you money cash there. Cos usually it takes 5 days. Now after a month it has not arrived yet and you cannot prove that it was sent out! You always keep the smallest invoice and give back every coin! Now nothing!
4. as iam in the city i informed my attorney about that situation(s) now!

Moreover, i blocked you in instagram etc after i was told from several clients of your / my former employer and contract partner that you are talking negative about me! Thats also very interesting after all your thoughts you shared with me 'against' Patrick and Chris, the studio your working at or even the system, leaving them etc. just to secure my interests i taped some of our conversations!

Also interesting Amanda that you go against me together now with P&C after all these games they play! Even the situation they created with Sarah and me, or that ( i cant complain about that) they payed me even and almost double than everybody else in [studio A] and [studio B] based on my weekly payments which is more than all of yours, they payed my insurances, my medical, aptm and other things....
Use that information or dont! I know you will use it for your personal interests like always!

BUT beside giving this situation(s) to my attorney I also will publish those things ....

Thank you."

Soooooooo he is saying he secretly recorded me and is not going to use that against me. To which I responded in a whole email/message shutting him down and explaining intrusion upon seclusion is illegal and that CT has a law which requires two parties of consent to record a conversation AND that it's just obviously blackmail what he's doing. And that it was ridiculous to jump from clothes to privately recording me BEFORE the clothes were even an issue.

****MAIN POINT HERE --->***** But my real fear is that he will actually send recordings of me complaining about my bosses/work to them, or worse publish them online somehow. I really do think he would have recorded me, if not bugged the house (the timing for asking for his clothes was uncanny), and I just worry about the emotional and uncomfortable repercussions of them hearing something like that.

It is only like 4 of us in the studio and my one boss is very sensitive..... I can always say "yeah all employees complain" yes true, but I don't know if the one boss could really handle this well (as it would be hurtful of course to anyone) and it would just make things REALLY uncomfortable and honestly they would maybe even fire me. They are very reactive.

So I am freaking out he will actually send something ..... everyone Ive told or asked about says he's just nuts and not to worry. But he was so crazy jumping from clothes to sending recordings like he already made his mind up, you know?

Please help! I desperately need help handling the possibility of the bosses hearing them and finding out!!!!!!!!!

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    He's bluffing.

    If you feel you must smoke him out, tell him that the only way you will believe him is if he sends you a copy of the tape. Not the original -- a copy. He can keep the original.

    If the tape actually exists (ha!), there is no reason -- absolutely none -- for him not to send you a copy as proof.

    If he can't or won't send it? Then there's no tape.

    reply to Kal
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    (And you know, of course, that he will come up with 17 reasons why he can't send the tape. Don't fall for them. The chief reason he can't send it is that THERE IS NO TAPE.)

    reply to Kal
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    As for the rest of it? Don't know what the legalities are with regard to abandoned property in your state, nor what promises may have been made by you, your sister or your mother about looking after it. Try to sort out on your end what may have reasonably been promised to him with regard to property storage -- were there promises made it would be stored for a certain length of time?

    I'm not saying he has a case -- you just want to make sure you have the chronology straight in case this goes any further.

    reply to Kal
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    Hi, honey! I have to start getting ready for work, soon, but wanted to stop by with some love and a little reassurance.

    First, listen to Kal. There is no tape.

    Second, even if there was a tape, and even if he did play it for your bosses, you have nothing to worry about.

    There is only one response to it, and it is this:

    "You hired a con man. A criminal. Who tried to blackmail me! I'm sorry if your feelings got hurt, but you hired a con man who tried to blackmail me!!!"

    As for his clothing, it's clear that if you continue to respond to him, he will claim there was money in the stuff you gave away. There wasn't. If he tries to involve the law -- and he won't; he's a criminal -- your defense is that you were afraid of him.

    Not that you'll actually need a defense.

    He's bluffing.

    Stop all communication with him and go on with your life. Going after you is not worth his time and won't get him any money, so he will give up and move on to his next mark.

    But, I'm sorry you have to deal with this at all. Big, huge, warm, strong hugs for you. <3

    reply to Robynne
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    I agree with Miss Robynne and Kal 100%. He's bluffing. He's a hornswaggling con man.

    reply to E. Jean
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