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Advice Vixens

Hi Vixens,

Hope everyone is doing well! It's been a long while since I've been on here, and I could definitely use some advice.

My partner and I are wedding planning and it's obviously really pricey and we're trying to keep it simple, but even with simple, things are getting close to $15,000-20,000. I don't make enough money to rationalize spending this for one night, and neither of us will be getting financial support from our parents.

We do want something nice as we realize this will be the only occasion aside of someone dying where all of our friends and family will be in the same place at one time.

So, I'm wondering, how horrible is it to have a Sunday wedding? Do people really hate this? Is it the kind of thing where people are like, "We have to travel AND it's a Sunday wedding?!!"

I hate being this person, but it's a huge price difference.

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  • give Sam advice
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    The people who would whine about really hating this, rather than waxing enthusiastic about being at your wedding? Those are *exactly* the people you don't need there.

    So go ahead, have it on a Sunday. If it weeds out a handful of people, think of it as a golden opportunity to NOT hear their take on what the "perfect" wedding would entail. Hell, the people who really matter would be thrilled to attend if you held it on a Wednesday at 2 in the morning...

    reply to Kal
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    Thanks, Kal. That's perfect advice. We are thinking of having it in NOLA and if we have it on Saturday people traveling will need to take Friday off anyway, so taking Monday off doesn't seem to bad.

    reply to Sam
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    I just want to second what Kal said.

    Also, my friend here in Phoenix, Arpy, put on an absolutely perfect wedding for a ridiculously small amount of money -- under $1,000 -- last year.

    I know you'll want something a little less basic than hers but the main trick she learned was that anytime you're dealing with a vendor, avoid the word "wedding" like the plague. They jack up the prices like crazy if it's for a wedding, but will do beautiful work with flowers or whatever at a fraction of the cost if you say "outdoor brunch" or something.

    Speaking of which, is it possible to have a Sunday morning wedding? That way people could fly back Sunday evening and maybe not have to take Monday off.

    I know that whatever you decide will be beautiful and I'm so excited for you both!

    reply to Robynne
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    Man, that bites. Just one more example of why I'm a fan of elopement :-(

    reply to Maggie
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    Hi Sam!

    I am in a similar boat with my fiance...we are fronting the costs, have an enormous family, and are struggling with getting past the whole not wanting to disappoint anyone with our cost cutting choices (we're looking at a non-traditional venue that is kind of out of the way, a pretty simple dining menu, and drawing some hard lines on the guest list). The advice listed above from the other Vixens has been spot on...basically if anyone wants to complain, then they aren't the kind of people who need to be there. We can't make other people be happy for us, we can only do what is special for us that day and hope others partake in our happiness.

    The Sunday morning wedding would be great, brunches are much more cost effective and most people enjoy a good brunch. You can have some cocktails, but not worry about racking up an enormous bar tab, like you would with a Saturday night reception. And like Robynne pointed out if you have it Sunday morning people could still travel home in the afternoon. If people are coming in to town Saturday night, could you arrange for everyone to meet up at a restaurant or bar to visit and spend some time together the night before (like a larger scale less formal version of a rehearsal dinner)? Some people host a more informal cookout the evening before. If your loved ones are the grilling out and bonfire type it could be a fun evening before the wedding.

    Whatever you decide, I'm sure it will be beautiful and memorable. Good luck!

    reply to Kay
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    How about getting married on a Friday?

    If the most important thing for you is to have everyone attend, pick a location where the most people are centrally located- this way, it doesn't matter which day of the week it is held.

    reply to Blondie
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    I've got nothing to add because I don't know the first friggin thing about weddings but I just wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS! I wish you all the happiness and agree with Kal and Robynne 100%. Have this wedding (excuse me, 'outdoor brunch,' that's genius) whenever, wherever, and however you want.

    This wedding isn't for anyone else but you two. This wedding also isn't supposed to be anything more than the public confirmation that you've found someone incredible and that you're dedicating your lives to each other. DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. Everyone who doesn't like it or wants to piss and moan can shove it up their tailpipe.

    reply to Luciferia
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    Thanks for all of the advice, everyone.

    The reasoning behind the Sunday wedding is also because everyone in California will need to travel on Friday if we have a Saturday wedding. We are getting married in NOLA because it's far cheaper there than California. My partner is from there and all my friends and family either want to go there or are dying to go back.

    I don't think we would do a Sunday morning wedding because we would want the morning to get ready and prepare, but maybe we could do it earlier so it isn't an evening wedding.

    Kay, congratulations to you and your fiancé!

    reply to Sam
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