Ask E. Jean - Tormented? Driven Witless? Whipsawed by confusion?
Advice Vixens
Don't call him. He broke up with you, moved across the country and blocked you from his Facebook. What on earth makes you think he wants to hear from you?
The best way to get past this is to accept that he is gone forever, let yourself experience every second of the pain and then move on.
I know it's gonna hurt, believe me. But you've got to cry and rage and hurt and get it all out.
The best way to get past this is to accept that he is gone forever, let yourself experience every second of the pain and then move on.
I know it's gonna hurt, believe me. But you've got to cry and rage and hurt and get it all out.
reply to Brynne
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It's only been three weeks. It's no weakness on your part if you're still working things out emotionally and mentally. You'll need to cry. So cry. You'll obsess a bit--and that's okay. In fact, I believe it to be a virtue about being a woman. We deal with it all, get it done, and then TRULY move on. Sometimes we look at men after a breakup and say, "How can you be so fine! You don't care!" But these men just postpone the hurt. Rather inefficient if you ask me.
So give yourself a break. You're allowed to mourn this loss. BUT DONT' CALL HIM! It's only going to disappoint/hurt you to do so.
So give yourself a break. You're allowed to mourn this loss. BUT DONT' CALL HIM! It's only going to disappoint/hurt you to do so.
reply to Samantha
send this answer to a friendSamantha wrote: It's only been three weeks. It's no weakness on your part if you're still working things out emotionally and mentally. You'll need to cry. So cry. You'll obsess a bit--and that's okay. In fact, I believe it to be a virtue about being a woman. We deal with it all, get it done, and then TRULY move on. Sometimes we look at men after a breakup and say, "How can you be so fine! You don't care!" But these men just postpone the hurt. Rather inefficient if you ask me.
So give yourself a break. You're allowed to mourn this loss. BUT DONT' CALL HIM! It's only going to disappoint/hurt you to do so.
reply to anonymous
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Thanks Samantha- I like your answer better. No offense Brynne.
reply to anonymous
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Both Brynne and Sam are correct. I would like only to add one thing:
The only way to get over him is to delete him from your life and you can't have deleted him if you call. Nothing good will come of it, Anon. Just be assured that you are a worthy woman and are strong enough to heal.
The only way to get over him is to delete him from your life and you can't have deleted him if you call. Nothing good will come of it, Anon. Just be assured that you are a worthy woman and are strong enough to heal.
reply to M
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Cry, yell, sob, curl up with a gallon of ice cream or whatever. Think, obsess about it do all you want but do not call him he erased you from his life so now you erase him from yours. You are too good to strong and to good to call him and remind yourself that you are worthy of more than what he did to you.
reply to J
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Were you in agreement with the breakup? Did you see it coming or warrant it in any way?
You can't pretend to be cool or badazz if he just threw that icy bucket over your head and left. There are too many questions, doubts, if whys, etc. Frankly I find it very mean to end a relationship without explanation, if you guys were just dating is one thing, but bf-gf for a couple years?
Anyways, men take way longer to process things in their minds, and obviously he is now in no desire to have anything to do with you, so you will have to endure it for now and start making a new life on your own. By the time he is ready to talk to you, you will most likely have moved on.
You can't pretend to be cool or badazz if he just threw that icy bucket over your head and left. There are too many questions, doubts, if whys, etc. Frankly I find it very mean to end a relationship without explanation, if you guys were just dating is one thing, but bf-gf for a couple years?
Anyways, men take way longer to process things in their minds, and obviously he is now in no desire to have anything to do with you, so you will have to endure it for now and start making a new life on your own. By the time he is ready to talk to you, you will most likely have moved on.
reply to Keka
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He blocked you from FB???
Umm... that would be good enough reason for me to not call him for at least a year. He obviously sees you as bothersome, otherwise he would not have blocked you. Ouch, that has got to hurt. I don't blame you if you have a bug under your skin!
Give him all the space he wants. He is likely busy with his new job, new city and new surroundings. Men already take an unusually delayed amount of time to mourn a relationship, but with all this that is going on his life, it will likely be twice as long for him.
I know you feel like you need closure, but you don't need to talk to him to get it. Write him a letter that you will never send. Write several of them. Seal them in an envelope and put them under your bed until you feel ready to destroy them. Burn his stuff or gifts he gave you and delete his information from your phone/email/etc.
Good luck.
Umm... that would be good enough reason for me to not call him for at least a year. He obviously sees you as bothersome, otherwise he would not have blocked you. Ouch, that has got to hurt. I don't blame you if you have a bug under your skin!
Give him all the space he wants. He is likely busy with his new job, new city and new surroundings. Men already take an unusually delayed amount of time to mourn a relationship, but with all this that is going on his life, it will likely be twice as long for him.
I know you feel like you need closure, but you don't need to talk to him to get it. Write him a letter that you will never send. Write several of them. Seal them in an envelope and put them under your bed until you feel ready to destroy them. Burn his stuff or gifts he gave you and delete his information from your phone/email/etc.
Good luck.
reply to Blondie
send this answer to a friendanonymous wrote: Thanks Samantha- I like your answer better. No offense Brynne.
reply to Brynne
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None taken. It's the exact same advice, Samantha just said it more gently.
reply to Brynne
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Asolutely do not call him. Buy a really good breakup book, like The breakup bible, or the girls guide to surviving a breakup.... read it as much as possible. Put a plain paper bag cover on it, and go out to starbucks, or wherever, and keep reading it.
Write on a 3X5 card all of the jerky things about this guy that you can think of, including anything about him that really bugs you.
Tell yourself you deserve better, and you will never ever call him.
Convince yourself that you would never want to speak to someone so insensitive, selfish and jerky.
Realize that you need someone that is totally into you, and this guy is not him. He will probably continue to use people and treat them poorly.
Find a really upbeat new CD and play it loud. See lots of movies (comedies) and connect with friends. Do everything possible to not call him.
Write on a 3X5 card all of the jerky things about this guy that you can think of, including anything about him that really bugs you.
Tell yourself you deserve better, and you will never ever call him.
Convince yourself that you would never want to speak to someone so insensitive, selfish and jerky.
Realize that you need someone that is totally into you, and this guy is not him. He will probably continue to use people and treat them poorly.
Find a really upbeat new CD and play it loud. See lots of movies (comedies) and connect with friends. Do everything possible to not call him.
reply to kim
send this answer to a friendanonymous wrote: Thanks Samantha- I like your answer better. No offense Brynne.
reply to Samantha
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It's pretty much the same answer.
reply to Samantha
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So roughly three weeks ago my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. This was an abnormal breakup though- we stayed with a friend of mine on a vacation (i bought his tickets) and he got a job through my friend and when we got back, he broke up with me and moved across the country for this new job anyway. Shitty, I know.
But...like many women, I have this bug under my skin. One minute I'm great and I totally forget about him, the next minute I'm on the verge of tears and depressed. And what's worse is we had the same friends and he just got a FB since moving and he blocked me- which totally irks me. I did nothing erratic to make him do that.
So my first question, should I call? I hate that he would probably never call me...but I do still care about him and I want to see how he's doing.
Second question, what are some tips to keep me from not thinking about/calling him?
Thanks girls...
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