Ask E. Jean - Tormented? Driven Witless? Whipsawed by confusion?

Advice Vixens


Leo
CAN A TURTLE GET SOME LOVE AROUND HERE?

April's been no help with this, at all.
How do I get a human female to notice me? I've tried everything from showing her my kitanas to flexing my shell. What am I doing wrong?

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    Meredith
    Talk to her about her interests, her life, etc. Anything to get the focus on her, because then she'll know you're interested.

    And you might want to lay off the turtle bit.

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    Dan
    I think we're dealing with an actual turtle.

    Leo, from what I've seen of your shows, you're a little stuck up.

    I'd suggest hanging out with Raph or Mikey. Not Don, Don's a dork.

    So anyhow, hang out with Raph and Mike. They'll show you a good time, teach you how to relax and maybe introduce you to some fine human females. Good luck man.

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    Mac
    first principles: be damn sure you know what you want.

    look her dead in the eyes, constantly. eye-contact signals interest, and women statistically tend to be far better than men at reading subtle data transmitted by the eyes and surrounding structures.

    smile.

    treat her like a functional human being. listen to her.

    flirt: let her know what you want. women are no more mind-readers than are men, despite what many of them seem to think.

    caution: beware the "friend zone"

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    Elisa
    Weren't you Raphael yesterday asking how to get your turtle bits not to stink? Why don't you take her out for pizza?

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    Leo
    Yes, my brother Raph, told me about this place. The bathing advice worked wonders so I thought I'd take a chance...

    So, not being so "stuck up?" This might work?
    Funny. Splinter never mentioned that. Though he probably wants me all for himself, the crazy old rat.

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    Dan
    Don't get me wrong, Leo, you need to be stuck up, you're the leader after all. But when you guys are out on the town, drinking beer, then you should relax and have a good time. Don't be as crazy as Mikey, but smile, drink a few beers and chill. The human females will be attracted to your quiet confidence and they'll swarm you.

    You might wanna leave the kitana blades in the car though...

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    Briana
    Girls get scared by large knives. They don't want their feelings hurt, let alone their limbs. Show her what's underneath the shell, the real you, and leave "Leo" behind. Girls love to see boys grow up into men.

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    Mac
    go to The Encyclopedia Dramatica's relevant article - grotesquely stated, but reasonably accurate.

    important caveat!
    whatever else you do on that site, avoid the "pain series"
    TRUST ME ON THAT.

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    Mac
    side note: what the hell is a "kitana"?
    I know what a "katana" is - I own a couple of nice Cold Steel blades of that type.
    but... isn't "kitana" a female character from some dippy videogame (Mortal Combat???)?

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    Dan
    They were renamed "Kitana" by the turtles to glorify a beautiful woman in the very NON dippy video game, Mortal Combat. Apparently you didn't get the memo.

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    Mac
    Dan wrote: They were renamed "Kitana" by the turtles to glorify a beautiful woman in the very NON dippy video game, Mortal Combat. Apparently you didn't get the memo.

    nawsuh, Ah jest illitrut

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    Elisa
    You should ask Michaelangelo - doesn't he get all the ladies?

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    Tangy
    Dead bugs are always a good gift! I know I love 'em!

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    Viktoriya
    Keep your distance away from her, allow her to see you not more than twice a week. Ignore the girl. It'll make her wonder - why isn't he paying any attention to me? What's wrong with me? I have to find out for myself why isn't he interested in muah!

    you know that saying "If you love someone set them free, if they come back to you, you were meant to be."

    Something like that ;)

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    Leo
    Tangy wrote: Dead bugs are always a good gift! I know I love 'em!

    Right on, sister.

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    Tangy
    Leo wrote: Right on, sister.

    What we need is turtle love sites. We're the most neglected and unseen species there is!

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    Leo
    Tangy wrote: What we need is turtle love sites. We're the most neglected and unseen species there is!

    Yes. That would be cool. Though I tend to go for human females. Blame it on Casey.

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    Tangy
    My owner is pretty cool...maybe I could hook you up? What are your good qualities? I'll talk you up to her.

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    Leila
    All the ladies I know are totally into heroes, be they in a half shell or elsewhere, so I don't think you should have too much trouble.

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    Raphael
    Leo, you're the most stuck up, tight-ass, boring and unflexible turtle there is! You need to take lessons from Raph! Trust me. There ain't no other girl who knows Raph better than I do. I mean come on, he gets all the ladies. He knows what he's got, and he uses it.

    With me.

    heh ;-)

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    Laura
    Share your pizzas with her and protect her from that ugly rat dude. If she's happens to a certain reporter gal, perhaps take her shopping for a fancy new trenchcoat. Or talk to her about the news.

    If you really want to get a real-live human girl to talk to you, however, you cannot carryon pretending to be a TNMT. Unless, of course, you (and she) are 5. Then it might work.

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    Leo
    Lemme just get this encyclopedia out of my butt before I get back to you on that.

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    Wanda
    Raphael wrote: Leo, you're the most stuck up, tight-ass, boring and unflexible turtle there is! You need to take lessons from Raph! Trust me. There ain't no other girl who knows Raph better than I do. I mean come on, he gets all the ladies. He knows what he's got, and he uses it. With me. heh ;-)

    Maybe in your dreams.

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    Tangy
    This Frasco lady got it goin' on!

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    julieanne
    What are you doing chasing tail? There's crime to fight, you horndog.
    ORUKU SAKI.

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    jennifer
    first of all, the thing to do is look at her eyes not at her. speak to her intelligence level. most of all is try to be funny, sweet, kind and considerate to her. don't try any of those corny pick up lines that sometimes put a women off. but if it was me i would be yours in a heart beat i love ninjitsu katana's and i think that anyone that follows the true path of bushido is honorable.

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    Gina
    The blue eye-scarf contraption is not really working for ya, Leo. Try pink. I think it will really bring out the green of your shell.

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    ariana
    You need to get out of Raphael's shadow. Stop showing off and start doing thoughtful things... like painting her nails or giving her backrubs. A girl doesn't want buff turtles she wants adoring, submissive puppy dogs.

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    April
    Hey Leo I think you're an amazing guy. Be yourself because that's the best you can be ya know? No girl is going to want someone that's a fake. Be who you were born to be. And if you're ever free I wouldn't mind going out on a date, I think we'd have wicked fun!

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    MAX452
    stay in the sewer, life is safer that way...

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    Madeleine
    Dan wrote: I think we're dealing with an actual turtle. Leo, from what I've seen of your shows, you're a little stuck up. I'd suggest hanging out with Raph or Mikey. Not Don, Don's a dork. So anyhow, hang out with Raph and Mike. They'll show you a good time, teach you how to relax and maybe introduce you to some fine human females. Good luck man.

    Dan: Don is not a dork. Not at all. He is a big genious. Love him. A lot *blushes*!

    By the way Leo, just be yourself. I know that you will do great. Have a nice time and do what you can to make the girl feel special. If she feels special it will feels special for you to. Just do not drink to much, you never know what happens if you drink to much ;) *laughs*

    Just give Don a big hug from me and tell him that I am his biggest fan. He allready have a girl out there.. me... hehe!!

    Just a have a nice time and one more advice:

    Live your life before your lives for you.
    //Madeleine from sweden, far far away! :(

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    Dinah-lee
    Hey Leo if you really whant to meet a nice girl well you dont even have to try to impress my and im hot i have long blond hair and blue eyes and im all yours! email me

    love
    Dinah-lee
    Angel Heart
    at tenshilee22@hotmail.com if you dare whant loving!

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    Dinah-lee
    Hey Leonardo ignore everyone and run off with me! i LOVE you!!!!!!!!!!! im a girl with long blond hair real hot and have blue eyes!

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    Dinah-lee
    Leo wrote: Lemme just get this encyclopedia out of my butt before I get back to you on that.

    anyone there?

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    Dinah-lee
    Hey you dont tell me you already wore a pinck bandana
    don't be mean to me shame on you and that the only girl who truely loves you ha ha

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    Dinah-lee
    Hey you shy no wonder you get girls Leo

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    Dinah-lee
    Leo wrote: Lemme just get this encyclopedia out of my butt before I get back to you on that.

    hey is everyone ignoring me ha ha

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    Dinah-lee
    *pissed look* okay leo you must realy learn to replie to your biggest fans! for starters.

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    jennifer
    Dinah-lee wrote: *pissed look* okay leo you must realy learn to replie to your biggest fans! for starters.

    hey dinah-lee maybe people will reply if you stop leaving 8 posts in a row. and really i think we both are his bigest fans i've been his fan since the very start.

    leo i think what you should do is go out once with the both of us and see who you like. its only fair you know.

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    Natalie
    See there is a huge hole in this whole argument....Girls, especially ESPECIALLY younger girls (I see that you're 18) don't like nice guys. We like assholes. I'm serious about this. Someone held the door open for me the other day and I almost fell over in shock because I have not been treated that well in so long. I'm afraid to say that I think you need to find a happy medium between the cocky guy attitude and the sweet guy attitude.

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    Dinah-lee
    jennifer wrote: hey dinah-lee maybe people will reply if you stop leaving 8 posts in a row. and really i think we both are his bigest fans i've been his fan since the very start. leo i think what you should do is go out once with the both of us and see who you like. its only fair you know.

    Ha ha ha he *evil laugh* will definatly pick me for sure! well i am a bit unpatient lets see how long do you know the tmnt? a few years or so? i know the tmnt since birth 1984.

    and it's obvious i love Leonardo more than you do heh heh i don't think sharing him will work. i will fight till death to win his heart ha ha ha ha *evil laugh* (think vegeta's laugh heh heh)

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    Dinah-lee
    jennifer wrote: hey dinah-lee maybe people will reply if you stop leaving 8 posts in a row. and really i think we both are his bigest fans i've been his fan since the very start. leo i think what you should do is go out once with the both of us and see who you like. its only fair you know.

    Hey i dont share and ive kinda been unpatient i get that a lot besides ive waited for him to replie for about an hour or more heh heh

    and girl i dont think Leonardo will pick you for starters ive known him since birth of 1984 august hey were first published by comic in july june.

    and second im much smarter and much obiedient just like Leonardo are, well i do have a evil side aswell like raphael have a secret weapon so do i my anger.

    and third i will never let him go out with us together not to be meen or anything he is mine and mine alone ha ha ha ha(evil laugh)

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    jennifer
    Dinah-lee wrote: Hey i dont share and ive kinda been unpatient i get that a lot besides ive waited for him to replie for about an hour or more heh heh and girl i dont think Leonardo will pick you for starters ive known him since birth of 1984 august hey were first published by comic in july june. and second im much smarter and much obiedient just like Leonardo are, well i do have a evil side aswell like raphael have a secret weapon so do i my anger. and third i will never let him go out with us together not to be meen or anything he is mine and mine alone ha ha ha ha(evil laugh)

    what every dinah-lee i've been a fan as long as you have so so really its quite even in that mark.as for anything else it don't matter how you act your stuck up and self absorbed and you need to get off your high horse and just admit there might be other fans out there that know just as much or more then you about tmnt and leo.

    i don't care who leo picks to go out with a long as he is with somone that isn't going to be talking about herself the whole time. maybe you should be with raph then with leo becuase it seems you to would never click anyway.oh and by the way you really need over yourself fast hunny its getting qite annoying.

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    Dinah-lee
    jennifer wrote: what every dinah-lee i've been a fan as long as you have so so really its quite even in that mark.as for anything else it don't matter how you act your stuck up and self absorbed and you need to get off your high horse and just admit there might be other fans out there that know just as much or more then you about tmnt and leo. i don't care who leo picks to go out with a long as he is with somone that isn't going to be talking about herself the whole time. maybe you should be with raph then with leo becuase it seems you to would never click anyway.oh and by the way you really need over yourself fast hunny its getting qite annoying.

    a

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    Dinah-lee
    jennifer wrote: first of all, the thing to do is look at her eyes not at her. speak to her intelligence level. most of all is try to be funny, sweet, kind and considerate to her. don't try any of those corny pick up lines that sometimes put a women off. but if it was me i would be yours in a heart beat i love ninjitsu katana's and i think that anyone that follows the true path of bushido is honorable.

    your really caring ha ha i do sound a lot like raphael maybe because i liked him when i was little but i got ofer him i do love Donatello also but am inlove with Leonardo i sometimes wish that he is real or think why isn't he real. but hey he is just fiction so it doesn't' really matter that i break my neck over a guy who doesn't exist me not bieing mean or anything well i um err its just so confusing sometimes but you do give great advise! well Leo still didnt replie to me maybe im ment to be alone ha ha ha

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    Dinah-lee
    Leo wrote: Yes, my brother Raph, told me about this place. The bathing advice worked wonders so I thought I'd take a chance... So, not being so "stuck up?" This might work? Funny. Splinter never mentioned that. Though he probably wants me all for himself, the crazy old rat.

    hey Leo you must have a wonderfull day and i guess i will post something intresting when i have somehting to think about i just hope your week was better than mine ha ha ha

    peace love
    South Africa

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