Antonella!

Your toilet for your appearance is crucial.

You carry, uh, a great weight on your slim shoulders. You are the third wave of feminism, hunny; so I would go with the Simon De Beauvoir braids and the Gertrude Stein-Red lipstick.

Whatever you decide on, make sure it's elegant with a touch of sexy, yet comfortable - you'll want to look AND feel your best when up there singing your heart out, despite the fact that the entire crowd has seen you holding your own ta-ta's...

Match your fabrics with the mood of your song. Belting out a love ballad? Wear your heart all over your body and deck out in red. Going for a tune that will rock the judges and have the audience spinning circles? Then sparkle it up, baby. Whatever you do, don’t go overboard. And by overboard, I mean just because your killer song is “Super Freak,” there’s no need to bust out the G-string quite yet. Save those stellar undies for your Playboy cover shoot.

How about that nice polka dot underwear ensemble that you did "for a friend's photography class"?

Antonella, sweetheart! I like what Frasco is wearing in her video (above me). The double fig leaf! Tres tres tres chic.

And P.S. It doesn't matter if you win Idol. You have already gone down, er, in history.

What you should wear, other than it being classy, yet sexy, should depend on what song you are singing. I mean, you wouldn't want to wear a bright pink tutu with fishnet stockings if you're singing "Kiss by a Rose" from Seal. So go over your song and see what mood/mood of clothing it invokes.

Dearest Cortex-Covered Coiled Coquette,
So you want to wow the judges without seeming like you're trying too hard to be Teacher's Pet. But, this is American Idol we're talking about so at the same time you've got to up the ante and look the part while you blow the pipes. Sweet Songstress, do not go for an outfit that screams I'm Cooler than Thou! Otherwise known as the Gwen Stefani syndrome, this will cause peeps to see you as a style icon rather than a pop star everyone can relate to. Also, when a trend is very "in" right now it's usually "out," do you know what I mean? (Think the ubiquitous poncho... as soon as you see knock-offs at H&M it's time to gracefully refuse.)
What you SHOULD wear needs to follow certain guidleines:
A) How it makes you appear to the judges and to middle-America (they're the ones voting, after all).
This is a tricky one but here are some basic rules: no hot pants, animal prints, fishnets, ridiculously tall platforms or futuristic garments only FIT students understand. You want to capture America's heart, not frighten it.

B) How it compliments your body
Thus, if you've got breasts DON"T wear a trapeze or babydoll shift though they're all the rage. Instead wear something form-fitting but not tight like an elegant shift in a fun print.

C) How it compliments the song
If you're singing Aretha don't wear cowboy boots. If you're doing Pink! don't wear a sequined gown. You get the idea.

and

D) How it compares to what the other contestants wear.
You want to stand out and remain an individual without looking like a kooky version of yourself. Pick apart what makes you different from the rest of the pack and highlight it.

That said, go for fresh, timeless, flattering, and chic. For ideas check out the Anthropologie catalog for all that's NOW without being too out there in fashion la-la land. No Bjork swans for you. But, no matter what you choose to wear, make it real by remembering you're wearing the clothes, not the other way 'round.
Ta and Good Luck, mom petite chanteuse!
Mwah!

Dear dear brain of Antonella, it's good to see you're sticking around. Between the leaked photos and the Celine Dion (not to mention the truly loathsome "best friend" Amanda), I feared you had gone for good. Now, darling, there's no sense in playing coy. We've all seen the pictures. Instead of dedicating your song to your boyfriend, why not address the issue directly and (gasp!) own it! Come on out in a white t-shirt minidress or stitch together some rose petals to make a fetching ensemble. Your votes will continue to grow and, tragically, you'll probably push the delightful Stephanie Edwards off the top 12.

Realistically, I think Antonella and her brain should bow out of the contest. The controversy surrounding her photos is detracting from the show and hurting her chances at a respectable career.

No doubt both the girl in question and the shows producers are loving the publicity and ratings, but there should be, and will be, consequences. If Antonella's brain has any sense of what's right, she already knows this.

Antonella, if you read this: You are a beautiful girl and a talented singer. You won't win American Idol, but if you continue in the contest the producers will use your notoriety to increase ratings week after week until they are finished with you. Then you will return to New Jersey with a lot of experience and no credibility.

Take the high road and be in control of your own destiny. Leave Idol now. Sue the people who released those photos. Instead of posing for Playboy, or whatever, seek out any contacts in the music business that you've met through Idol and work hard to improve your voice and your image.

That way, instead of having the usual 15-minute Hollywood fling of a career, you have the potential for life-long, rich music career.

Unless, that is, your goal is to be the next Idol has-been.

Here's a quote from Katharine McPhee from the L.A. Times:

"Don't trust anybody, because the producers have their agenda. I personally would just stick to your own guns, and do what you think is right in your gut."

Well, what are you singing, darling? When I plan a performance, I think to myself "What would a Diva do?" Tina Turner, lots of fringe. Aretha? Probably a gown with a low sweetheart neckline and headwrap. Now, what would the Diva inside of you do? Dress it up a bit. Bring out the heavy artillery while expressing your own personal style. You want America to see your inner Diva blossoming but you also want them to see YOU! Find out what makes you special and then show to America! We'll be waiting on pins and needles...we want to be dazzled by you. Make it work!

This is crucial. This is BIG.

Now,
think for a moment. You've lost much of your fan base with recent nippy publicity and it is time to harness your inner "Pickler Power"----you have have SEIZED the attention of America's male population, and it is time to capitalize on your assets.

Think back: the year nineteen hundred and ninety-eight, the MTV Video Music Awards, ROSE MCGOWAN.



THIS is your inspiration!

Capitalize on your talents!

America loves you...naked.

Strip down and paint "vote for me!" aross your chest. If you're feeling shy throw on your cutest pair of panties and sing your heart out.

Shouldn't Antonella Barba's breasts be asking this question? White t-shirts and string bikinis seem to be working well for you- seeing as how this is a special occasion however, why don't you add some Pucci-print pasties as a tribute to your Italian heritage? After all, every ingenue songstress worth her weight in silicone knows that to be a star you must (1) get an agent, (2) tip heavily and (3) have revealing photos of oneself floating around the internet. People continue voting for you because the buzz those photos are getting have generated interest! Milk it for as long as you can.

The general consensus is that you've made it this far due to your racy photos posted online.

If you want to win - Perhaps you should go naked.

*~JustineThyme~*

Dear Trollop Trixie,
I know I posted a strictly fashion-oriented piece of advice above but I feel the need to post again. You see, I'm somewhat of a pop-culture virgin. But after reading the other's answers tada! my cherry was popped and I no longer feel the shame. Now, just let me clean the blood off my sheets while I ask A) are those real... 'cuz they look suspiciosly baseball-like whilst um, damp and B) what the f--- did you think would happen, paisana???
Get back to me on that.
Ciao.

Start from the bottom up: SHOES.

Who says only little girls and hookers can wear black patent leather shoes? I say we bring the black patent shoe back... you could even work in a whole cat-woman/fetishist black patent leather jumpsuit. You'll have to grease yourself with bacon lard first so that you'll be able to fit into such an outfit -- but it will be sooooo worth it when you become (a) a trendsetter (b) every adolescent boy's sexual fantasy.

Antonelle, my dear! Whatever you drape your delectable self in, make sure what's closest to your heart is of the utmost quality and star status. As long as you're in your fav panty/pushup set, feeling all super sex kitten, nothing and nobody can trip you up.

I like the wet t-shirt from your WWII memorial pictures.

Can I vote Frasco for American Idol?

All you have to remember is not to wear anything louder than your voice (like that green dress you wore last week...I think that was you).

Wear a nun's habit. Or a burqa!

What is going on with this advice? Wear Tibi, Ella Moss, Michael Kors, Proenza Schouler, or Tracy Ross. Nothing too crazy or with too many prints. Wear a color that flatters you and then wow it up with some killer jewelry (not too much though).

Funny. I had no idea who Antonella Barba is or anything about the pictures. I had to google it. I suppose you could be very "Madonna-ish" and wear something virginal.

I just got a sick feeling thinking....ugh, another Britney/Lindsey, etc. for my 9 & 6 yr old nieces to see in mass media!

I f***ing love google. Yes,I had to google you…and what matters in this world today besides your google count? Unlike my name which is often confused with this lacrosse player of death (I wish I looked like such an ass-kicker) you my dear are unmistakable. Of course scandal came before talent, the race card, angry women, mom’s…I have no idea what you sound like, how many “idols” are left yada yada, but If I were you I would make the best out of the sitch. A-you are not running to become pres or American Nanny so use this not-so-acceptable-unfortunate-turn to say something about the situation. Can idols use props? Get a coffin (because it seems as though most have considered this your death) and rise up in one of those outfits you are now infamous for. Pick a song about being a strong woman, throw up that now recognizable middle finger, get Frenchie or whatever her name is to do a duet. In this myspace, profile, blogger generation there is no escaping who you are as a person, even those who want to go unnoticed are often found with a few swift clicks on google. I think you should sing a song of all the blogs people have posted about you, the blogs from nasty men and insecure women…then maybe America would have something to really look at. Words really speak louder than pictures.

B-It is just about the time in your career to reinvent yourself anyhow. Pull a Madonna.

Good luck, even though your outfit is already picked out…do they really let you choose anymore what you wear. I’m a skeptic.

Use this to make an impact. It is the year of the woman in L.A. in 2007. Make a critique out of the turmoil. I might have to tune in.

Preach it sister!!! Do you think these young girls even know who these women are? I think it's part of the whole "it's all about me" attitude that so prevalent. I see it as these young girls are saying "I don't care what impact I have on society, it's all about me".

Let's also address the fact that we're giving serious truck to a person pretending to be a reality TV star. Mind=blown.

Excellent point, Claire.

Great discussion, though. I wonder at what point we, as a society, will say, "Enough is enough. No more unwarranted attention for spoiled, stupid sluts."

One thing that worries me about this thread and others on the site is the occasional slam against "young" girls. If a whole generation of girls grows up with the wrong ideas about being a woman, it isn't their fault.

Ahhhahaheheheh

Hilarious!!

great; now somebody is pretending to be E. Jean! ;)

brilliant!

i have to get a new keyboard as my coffee is all over it!!

good to laugh!

Well, now. The real Antonella Barba (brain or no brain) has a myspace, where she wrote "Keep on talkin' your (sic) makin' me famous!"

Ok, honey, whatever it takes to achieve THAT goal, right?

Naturally, porn sites and "Girls Gone Wild" have offered her up to $1 million (so far), to take her slut-ebrity to the next level.

My dish-shoveling disclaimer: my beef isn't about the racy photos or the skating through the contest on notoriety, I take issue with anyone who is arrogant and unapologetic when they have done something wrong and flips the bird instead of making amends.

Immature and no-class. Superb role model for the bajillion little girls who watch American Idol.

I second that emotion!

Still laughing, me . . .