Ask E. Jean - Tormented? Driven Witless? Whipsawed by confusion?

Advice Vixens

OK Vixens!!

Christmas is coming and we've all been given gifts that made us scatch our heads and say WTF am I supposed to do with this? LOL!!

Last year, someone gave me a basket of every kind of tea known to man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's the thought that counts, and I was very appreciative, but I DON'T DRINK TEA.

So what did I do? I re-wrapped it and gave it to my aunt who loves me forever because I know that she's an avid tea drinker.

My question is: Is re-gifting wrong?

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    For years I was always given "Coca-Cola" memorabilia from my mother for Christmas. Clocks, Kitchenware, etc. I always regifted it to my friend's mother who collects the stuff. The weird thing is I never drank Coca-Cola. I still dont get it. And if regifting is wrong, and my apartment should be decorated in that "Coca-Cola" theme, then I don't wanna be right!

    reply to Brad
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    Re-gifting is recycling with pretty ribbons! If you can't use it and someone else can, then why not??? There are 3 rules, though: 1) be sure you keep track of who gave you the gift and whom you're giving it to, 2) be sure to take out any cards that indicate it was a gift for YOU initially, and 3) don't be offended if you ever find out that someone re-gifted something that YOU had given ... if you can't take it, then don't dish it out (or something like that).

    reply to Yenta Mary
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    As long as there is absolutely no way the original gifter is able to come to know where their gift went, then I think it's fine. Your case in particular worked perfectly because the tea is perishable; when they ask, "how's the tea?" you can say, "all gone!" and it wouldn't be lying. Win win.

    reply to Michelle
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    Pay. Careful. Attention. Ever given someone a gift their sister had originally given you? It's a bad, bad place to be.

    It's not wrong, though. A gift to you makes it yours to do with as you please. If you feel as if it would be more appreciated by someone else, then re-gift away!

    But if it's one of those things that no one really wants, just donate it. Don't re-gift because you're too cheap or not thoughtful enough to buy something. If it's the thought that counts, you wouldn't give a vegan a cheese and meat plate you received just because you didn't want it, right?

    Re-gift with caution. Re-gift when it makes sense.

    reply to Karla
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    I've regifted before but it always makes me really nervous. I spend the entire week afterwards convinced that the original gifter would find out. Sometimes, I think just spending the money on a gift for someone is better than dealing with all the stress that comes along with regifting.

    One suggestion would be saying to a close friend or family member: "Hey I got this popcorn tin from someone at work & I know I won't eat it or use it. Would you want it?" At least then, everything's out in the open! My sister & I have done that with each other in the past & it works great!

    reply to gina
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    Dearest Sexcee,

    If you or any of the Vixens get an unwanted bottle of tequila, don't hesitate to re-gift it over this way!

    reply to G.
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    Really, possession is 9/10ths of the law, right? Someone gave you a gift, and so it is yours to do with what you wish. I think re-gifting is brilliant; since you don't drink tea, rather than throw it away you passed it along to someone who will get joy out of it. Spreading joy is awesome!

    Personally, if the subject ever came up with the original gift-giver, I would tell them directly what became of their well-meant gift (couched in as positive terms as possible). I once gave the most fabulous-smelling vanilla bath gel in the world triumphantly to a friend. The girl thanked me profusely and then said as delicately as possible: "But, um, I really hate the smell of vanilla." Which made me feel badly, but saved her from ever getting unwanted bath products from me again. So unless you want to furnish your aunt with an endless supply of tea.....

    Also, Yenta Mary has some great guidelines. Giving a gift back to the same person who gave it to you does resemble an act of open war. ;)

    reply to Amanda
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    I swear my stepsister regifted the candelholders I gave her for her engagement to me for my engagement.
    I really didn't mind, they were pretty (I've since broken them - people with tempers cannot be trusted with glass objects).

    But what got me was the SHE REGISTERED FOR THEM! And I did not.

    reply to Jen
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    I swear my stepsister regifted the candelholders I gave her for her engagement to me for my engagement.
    I really didn't mind, they were pretty (I've since broken them - people with tempers cannot be trusted with glass objects).

    But what got me was the SHE REGISTERED FOR THEM! And I did not.

    reply to Jen
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    Jen wrote: I swear my stepsister regifted the candelholders I gave her for her engagement to me for my engagement. I really didn't mind, they were pretty (I've since broken them - people with tempers cannot be trusted with glass objects). But what got me was the SHE REGISTERED FOR THEM! And I did not.

    Hahaha that's hilarious!

    Your story was hilarious, not that it posted twice.

    And I don't know why it posted twice.

    reply to Karla
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    Karla wrote: Hahaha that's hilarious! Your story was hilarious, not that it posted twice. And I don't know why it posted twice.

    Thanks Karla.
    But Dude what the f*&k? Why does that happen? This double posting thing makes me nutty!

    reply to Jen
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    Karla wrote: Hahaha that's hilarious! Your story was hilarious, not that it posted twice. And I don't know why it posted twice.

    Thanks Karla.
    But Dude what the f*&k? Why does that happen? This double posting thing makes me nutty!

    reply to Jen
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    Now what's with f*^%king crossouts?

    ARGH! I'm going to bed!

    reply to Jen
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    Now what's with f*^%king crossouts?

    ARGH! I'm going to bed!

    reply to Jen
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    I don't think there is anything wrong with re-gifting. After all, if I were to buy someone something and they re-gifted it to someone else I would be happy that someone was getting use out of it and that it was not just sitting in the back of a closet somewhere collecting dust. I think that maybe the only time when re-gifting is not appropriate is when someone has spent a great deal of time or money on a gift that they got specifically for you. But let's not split hairs here, I am talking big like a car or a ring with an engraving on it. Ok I'm starting to ramble, but you get the idea. When someone just buys you a gift just to buy you a gift, its perfectly fine to pass it off to someone else.

    reply to Michael
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    Hi Sexcee--

    Let me get this straight. Somebody did something nice for you, and you were appreciative. You then did somebody else a nice turn, and she loves you for it. The tea got drunk up by someone who's a tea lover.

    Everybody's happy, right? And nothing got wasted, right? So what's the problem?

    reply to Roxanne
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    Roxanne wrote: Hi Sexcee-- Let me get this straight. Somebody did something nice for you, and you were appreciative. You then did somebody else a nice turn, and she loves you for it. The tea got drunk up by someone who's a tea lover. Everybody's happy, right? And nothing got wasted, right? So what's the problem?

    Hey Roxanne,

    I actually don't see a problem with re-gifting at all as long as like most of the Vixens said, that we're careful who we give and receive from.

    I just wanted to know the general consensus of the Vixens about re-gifting...especially since my mom thinks its just ABSOLUTELY WRONG to give away something that someone else gives you.

    I've never agree with her on much of anything and at this point, I probably never will, but she's still moms and has that way of making me feel like I'm just her BACKWARDS ASS child! LOL!!!

    Which I must admit, I LOVE being!! ;)

    reply to Sexcee
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    G. wrote: Dearest Sexcee, If you or any of the Vixens get an unwanted bottle of tequila, don't hesitate to re-gift it over this way!

    LMAO!!!

    No problem!! :)

    reply to Sexcee
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    Sexcee wrote: Hey Roxanne, I actually don't see a problem with re-gifting at all as long as like most of the Vixens said, that we're careful who we give and receive from. I just wanted to know the general consensus of the Vixens about re-gifting...especially since my mom thinks its just ABSOLUTELY WRONG to give away something that someone else gives you. I've never agree with her on much of anything and at this point, I probably never will, but she's still moms and has that way of making me feel like I'm just her BACKWARDS ASS child! LOL!!! Which I must admit, I LOVE being!! ;)

    Hi Sexcee--

    Mom needs to take a more global, up-to-date view of this subject!

    Hanging on to something you don't need and will never use is bad feng shui. A gift is supposed to generate happiness for the recipient. If you don't like it and will never use it, it will just create bad vibes. Giving it a good home, on the other hand, will create positive energy and good feelings.

    Re-gifting is a time-honored tradition throughout the Far East and in much of Europe. As Americans become more environmentally-conscious and less flagrantly wasteful, re-gifting should lose its stigma.

    I'm a mom myself, and I have to say that, as much as I've learned from my mother, I've probably learned even more from my children. When you disagree with your mom...you're just doing your job!!

    reply to Roxanne
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    Roxanne wrote: Hi Sexcee-- Mom needs to take a more global, up-to-date view of this subject! Hanging on to something you don't need and will never use is bad feng shui. A gift is supposed to generate happiness for the recipient. If you don't like it and will never use it, it will just create bad vibes. Giving it a good home, on the other hand, will create positive energy and good feelings. Re-gifting is a time-honored tradition throughout the Far East and in much of Europe. As Americans become more environmentally-conscious and less flagrantly wasteful, re-gifting should lose its stigma. I'm a mom myself, and I have to say that, as much as I've learned from my mother, I've probably learned even more from my children. When you disagree with your mom...you're just doing your job!!

    OH!! I agree wholeheartedly!!
    I think when you re-gift and it creates positive energy, it creates good karma!

    And LOL @ My mom who is so stuck in the 60's and 70's, she'll never find her way out! :)

    And Yes, I agree 100%! I have learned more by observing and listening to my son than I have from listening to my bible thumping need-to-watch-MSNBC for once in her lifetime stuck in 1962 excuse for a mom!

    reply to Sexcee
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    My friends and I did an elephant gift thing for the past 5 years and a collection of Elvis cards were re-gifted for a while until I got them and kept them. Now my friends think it's messed up that I didn't re-gift it into the elephant ring. I refuse to give up these cards. They are classic...Elvis in the movies, Elvis in Hawaii, etc.

    My point is that if you ever get in trouble for re-gifting something, tell them that story and maybe you will be forgiven.

    reply to Hyun
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    Is Sexcee your real name? That's a real question.

    reply to Hyun
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    It all depends on why and how it's done. Example:

    If you are re-gifting something because you genuinely have no use for it, and can think of someone who can, then it sorta makes sense, no? That seems to be the case with your aunt. It's not that the gift went unappreciated, but you just wanted to give it a good home and put it to good use. It's eco-friendly!

    But if it's laziness talking, tsk tsk. Gift giving should come from the heart no matter what, even if you're re-gifting. And NEVER re-gift something that's already been used... food especially.

    reply to brian
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    Regifting is great. Its an unspoken agreement amongst all participants in society.

    Everyone does it. Thats the beauty of it. Its a silent wink, and knowing nod. Its the holiday gift that we dare not speak it's name.

    Whether it be the generic candle, simply the *wrong* gift, or the fruitcake that will be bussed around from home to home like an orphan with a rap sheet, regifting is a proud, dare I say it, necessary human tradition.

    Regift away. And do it with abandon.

    reply to Ian
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    It is known to those of us who move in obscure circles that the ten commandments were, initially, eleven.

    The one after the tenth went like this:

    "Thou shalt not re-gift"

    In fact Moses was so pissed when he came down from the mountain because the golden calf was actually a gift of his to a brother who lived in a town nearby (Joeses), "I'm cool with worshiping, but don't you come regift on me, man" were his words.

    Clearly the bible says: "Let he who has the twenty two pieces of gold give them to his brother, but the twenty two shall remain twenty two, for its brother can no longer give them away" (Cor 5:21)
    A clear and unquestionable censure to the re-gifting process.

    Mark my words, re-gifters will perish and their souls re-gifted for eternity.

    reply to The General
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    I've never believed in re-gifting for the simple fact- the person who bought the gift was thinking of YOU-as he/she knows you, hence the reason for buying something they thought you would like. The whole "it's the thought that counts," aspect. Depending on who gave the gift, if it was a friend/co-worker/relative, maybe this year come up with the idea of everyone writing down a list of what they like and don't like. My dad's family has done this before and BELIEVE me- it works.

    Now, on my mother's side, these are people who will pretty much buy anything with NO thought. I refuse to go to my Uncle's house on Christmas Eve now, because of the gifts I received one year- it isn't the "material aspect of getting something," but I realized they didn't give a flying pig's ass what they gave me. For instance, you know the cheap gifts you buy just in case someone shows up and you don't want them feeling left out? Yeah- I get those. Usually cheap boxes of candy from the Dollar Tree and I don't eat candy. The year this happened I walked outside to smoke and started crying my eyes out. It wasn't the first time I felt left out of this side of my family, but for the love of God my Aunt bought a new girlfriend of a cousin a FREAKING GOLD BRACELET. Sure, it sounds like I'm materialistic, but the fact of the matter- she thought more of some strange 'ho, whom he broke up with not long after, than she did her own niece.

    I have asked people what they like and when I was in doubt, although a little impersonal, I've given pre-paid Visa gift cards. I know I'm at least thinking, "ok, this person can use this to buy gas, food whatever." It's better than a cheap-ass box of candy.

    Oh and if you do re-gift, do it immediately and give it to someone who does NOT know the person who gave you the gift to begin with- or trouble will follow. Better yet, if you receive more tea- send it to me, I'm a tea freak. :D

    I just noticed my responses are mini-books.

    reply to Bad Beth And Beyond
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    Well Sexcee, at least you didn't throw your tea bags into Boston Harbor. The last time someone did that, they started the American Revolution!

    Regifting is the karma of recycling. But please, don't get freaked out when what goes around, comes around and it comes your way. Just smile and start thinking who might be next to get the gift!

    reply to DaNiced
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    Ever hear of a reformed tea drinker? Best thing you could possibly have done.

    I'm a tea drinker to the extent that Ceylon wasn't an island before I came along. Unless we're fed tea regularly, we eat bits of the planet by putting them into tea bags and drinking them. You've probably saved North America.

    Anyone wants to re-gift an E Type Jaguar, let me know.

    reply to Paul
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    Nothing wrong with re-gifting, particularly if you get something you KNOW someone else will love.

    These days, with the advent of gift-cards and certificates, getting an actual gift is kind of rare. In my experience, unless I had specifically asked for it, I don't want it!

    Soooo... I say go for the re-gift! It's better to have someone enjoy that scented candle and loufa, than have it sit in the closet next to novelty boxers that say "Home of the Whopper" right on the front.

    reply to Brad
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    Oh, you Sexcee lady,

    When the question of re-gifting comes up, why do we only think of the feelings of the person who gave us the gift? The real issue here is the person receiving the re-gifted item from us: Why does this person merit such thoughtlessness? What does it say about our feelings for the one on the receiving end?

    I see nothing wrong with giving away something you donít want. But unless you are poor or donít like the person, itís thoughtless and rude to call that a gift. Itís really no different than going through your closet and finding stuff you donít want Ė then giving it away as ďgiftsĒ instead of throwing it away or donating it to charity.

    Youíre too classy for that, Sexcee.

    reply to Precious
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    My dear Sexcee,
    Re-gifting, per se, is not wrong. What is unforgivable is the APPEARANCE of re-gifting. It is after all the thought that counts. No one could fault you for spreading joy to your aunt with the horrid tea. And with Christmas coming during these gloomy economic times, the more mileage per gift the better!

    The trouble comes when your penchant for the re-gift is discovered. Therefore, I suggest you keep a detailed database of gifts received and re-gifted, including your personal six degrees of separation. You certainly don't want to end up in Karla's situation. Good luck, and happy gifting - re or otherwise!

    Loves and Kisses,
    Vivienne

    reply to Vivienne
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    Talk about something being posted twice.
    You must have hit the submit button, and a polite request popped up saying "log in Hunny_ I love being called Hunny, reminds me so much of Winnie the Pooh- You logged in, and hit the submit button again. Voila! Here thou art twice on the forum.
    As for regifting. As long as the original gifter knoweth not what thy right hand did on passing on the gift to someone far far away from him, or her, carry on.
    I tried it last holidays.
    Bought just one present, (talk about pennypinching cheapsters.) Gave it to Aunty X, recieved a gift, passed that gift on to Uncle Y, recieved a present, passed it on to Cousin X... and so on! Needs lots of tact, diplomacy and an extra gift in hand, in case you don't want to pass on the Waterford Crystal vase... But if you got another bottle of imitation Magie noir Parfum, which makes you feel all nauseated, do go on to the pass the gift along carousel again!
    I would not advise anyone who has uncles , aunts and cousins living in the vicinity to try this! But regifting! Yeah, at least that person is using it, ain't he/she?


    reply to Nina
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    I think you did a nice thing in THIS particular case. You did think of someone else who'd enjoy it and gave it to her.

    However, I almost think "re-gifting" could become an evil obsession. If it became a habit, you'd have to keep continual track of the things you've received and given/to and from whom. What a mess, like a white lie gone horribly wrong.

    Again, I think the way you did it this time, was not a bad thing. Just as a general act, I do try to avoid the re-gift process.

    There are so many things we can do with our time - like try to find special gifts for our friends and family, use the basket for fruit and the tea for guests and sleep well at night.

    reply to Shelly Rae
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    Send me the tea please if you get more this year. I love it.

    Once you received it; it's yours. Give it as a gift to someone else (if you know they'll like it) or save it for guests (like the person who gave it to you.)

    If you don't care for something and can't exchange it you're not obligated to make a permanent spot for it in your cupboard.


    reply to Marie
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    Absolutely not!

    A gift is meant to be appreciated, so pass it on to someone who will appreciate it.

    I have a small Christmas Party for close friends every year - about 12 in all including their significant others.

    ONLY recyclable gift is allowed. So all those gifts that someone gave you that you didn't want show up.

    After the gifts are opened, my friends are allowed to trade them with anyone else who didn't exactly want what they got.

    We all have great fun, and some really awesome gifts have shown up. Especially after a wedding took place one year.

    What's also nice is that there is no stress involved in having to yet another gift in this gift-giving season.

    So re-gift away!


    reply to Phoenix
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    Regifting isn't wrong it's just plain green. Letting junk you don't want or need pile up in your pad is wasteful. However, be wary of regifting when there's the potential of the initial giver finding out. This is insulting. Giving Aunt Edna the tea your bf gave you is great. Giving that same tea at a mutual friend's birthday is tasteless. Keep your regifting safe and on the dl and there's nothing wrong with it.

    reply to Melissa
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    I truly think it's better to "re-gift" and help the environment than to throw away and have the thing end up in a landfill. Another option is to bring the terrible gift to Goodwill or to a consignment store that the gift giver doesn't frequent! Re-gifting is fine, but you have to be careful! :)

    reply to Jennifer
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    Hyun wrote: Is Sexcee your real name? That's a real question.

    LOL!! Actually it really is a nickname.
    In the movie "Coming To America", the name of Arsenio Hall's band was "Sexual Chocolate" and because of my dark skin, the kids in my neighborhood use to cll me "Chocolate".

    But after the movie came out, I was then called Sexcee Choclate which I absolutely HATED!!

    As the years went on, I learned to accept it and actually kinda "grew" into it by the time I reached my 20's.

    Of course, when I finally began to accept it, everyone gets lazy and just calls me Sexcee.

    Go Figure!


    reply to Sexcee
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    The General wrote: It is known to those of us who move in obscure circles that the ten commandments were, initially, eleven. The one after the tenth went like this: "Thou shalt not re-gift" In fact Moses was so pissed when he came down from the mountain because the golden calf was actually a gift of his to a brother who lived in a town nearby (Joeses), "I'm cool with worshiping, but don't you come regift on me, man" were his words. Clearly the bible says: "Let he who has the twenty two pieces of gold give them to his brother, but the twenty two shall remain twenty two, for its brother can no longer give them away" (Cor 5:21) A clear and unquestionable censure to the re-gifting process. Mark my words, re-gifters will perish and their souls re-gifted for eternity.

    LMAO!! Great! Now I'm gonna die cause I gave away some tea!!!

    But then again, no one lives forever right??


    LOL!!

    reply to Sexcee
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    Viva la re-gifting.
    Once someone gives you something it's yours to do as you choose. If the person who gave it you wanted you to keep it they should have given you something that you either wanted or needed.
    Is it better if you would have taken your tea basket and put it in the back of the closet or thrown it out? You passed it on to someone who actually appreciated which is the point of the gift in the first place.
    If the person who gave it to you ever asks, you can honestly say that the gift was enjoyed.

    reply to Lorraine
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    This is a classic case of re-gifting, and there is nothing wrong with it. "One mans trash is another's treasure" right? Why let it collect dust in your cupboard when granny worships the ground you walk on now? Not only did you make someone happy, but you saved money too! Did you know that 70% of people buy things that they would like, or have wanted, for other people? That has got to mean that re-gifting has been around for a really long time!
    Re-gift on with your bad self!

    reply to Merrill
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    I say: if I can't use it and someone else can, it is a gift.
    Period.

    reply to jeannie`
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    Iím not so sure if you should turn your nose up at that tea. Tea has so many benefits Ė including boosting your immune system, protecting you from cancer, and most of all, not making you look like an ingrate to your friend for tossing their gift to the first sucker without a clue.

    If youíre dead set on re-gifting, Iíll admit that like cheating own your tax return, itís OK so long as youíre not caught. Also, make sure the gift itself isnít so bad it will piss someone else off. Some gifts can find comfort in the possession of another; others will only find comfort in the trash can.

    reply to Michael
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    Regifting is totally fine unless it's a very personal present. A basket of tea? That's something you give someone when you don't know what else to give them. No need to feel bad about re-gifting there. BUT, if someone, say, spends months hand-making you a sweater that you find hideous? No re-gifting, no thrift-store donating, no trashing allowed. No matter how much you hate it, that's a gift you have to take and appreciate for the hard work and thought put into it.

    reply to Samantha
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    Regifting is totally fine unless it's a very personal present. A basket of tea? That's something you give someone when you don't know what else to give them. No need to feel bad about re-gifting there. BUT, if someone, say, spends months hand-making you a sweater that you find hideous? No re-gifting, no thrift-store donating, no trashing allowed. No matter how much you hate it, that's a gift you have to take and appreciate for the hard work and thought put into it.

    reply to Samantha
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    Michael wrote: Iím not so sure if you should turn your nose up at that tea. Tea has so many benefits Ė including boosting your immune system, protecting you from cancer, and most of all, not making you look like an ingrate to your friend for tossing their gift to the first sucker without a clue. If youíre dead set on re-gifting, Iíll admit that like cheating own your tax return, itís OK so long as youíre not caught. Also, make sure the gift itself isnít so bad it will piss someone else off. Some gifts can find comfort in the possession of another; others will only find comfort in the trash can.

    It wasn't that it was tea.
    The problem was that I don't DRINK TEA.

    And anybody that knows me, knows that I don't drink tea, coffee, or eat fish. This person knew me well enough and should have remembered that. He obviously didn't, (or didn't care) so I was fine with re-gifting his gift. Hell, he probably was re-gifting it to me. LOL!!!


    I know about the health benefits of tea and what not but I don't like the way tea taste. I don't eat seafood, I don't drink coffee, hell, I just tried Jamba Juice last year for the first time because I don't like smoothies. I hate strawberries and bunch of other things that people think I'm carzy for not eating.

    I'm a very finicky eater!

    I don't re-gift all the time. My dad buys the worse gifts ever! (A banana hanger, a big-button calculator, a fury dog sweater , need I go on... LOL!!) and I never re-gift his gifts, cause they're from my dad and he's a cheap ass!! I expect crappy gifts from him. But this guy and I were friends since high school and I bought him a Best Buy Gift Card cause I know he loves everything in Best BUY only to receive a gift that he put absolutley no thought into. I still love him, we're still friends, and I didn't get mad... I just I re-gifted!! LMAO!!!

    I only re-gift when its something that I know I can't use and someone else can.

    reply to Sexcee
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    Don't call it "regfiting", just think of it as sociology and economics in action. You don't keep the hundred dollar bill your boss gives you for a hard day at work do you? NO! You move it around. In your life time, that money will be in hundreds of different hands.

    And so will your awful gifts. Every Christmas, every forgotten birthday, someone new will be getting that gift. And do you know what? It'll be carrying a little part of each of the previous owners with it.

    It is sort of like "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" except without that adorable Gilmore. And you're sharing The Clapper and travel irons. And it is not a movie at all.

    reply to Len
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    Re-gifting is okay if you happen to get something you know someone else would love. But don't pawn off potential yard sale items on your friends and family.

    If you think the recipient of the re-gift might open it with the same sense of disappointment that you did, then maybe it's time to swing by your local food bank or Salvation Army and give the gift a chance to be opened with enthusiasm.

    And don't regift within the same circle. Every year during the holidays when my step-sister opens something tacky, I cringe because I know there's a good chance it might come my way next year.

    reply to Bev
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    I've configured that regifting is sort of like finding treasure s at a garage sale..some of it's crap, and some of you almost have to put a security code on with your branding iron. Just be careful who you regift to, otherwise you may have to show up at the next git toooogether... with your aunt's floral sunbonnet on and a magnifying eye glass over one eye!! This can be tricky!!!!"

    reply to Ann-Laura
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    My philosophy is: it's better to re-gift than to throw it out. Just don't get caught. If your grandmother gives you socks and gloves she knitted herself (and they're some heinous color, such as purple with white moose prints) I say, pass it on.

    Or, another option is to donate your gift. Pack up some items you hardly ever use and take a trek to Goodwill. Most any thrift store will take second-hand items, as long as they're in decent condition.

    If you don't like a gift you're given, for heaven's sake, smile and do what you want with it. Just be kind to whoever gave you the gift...it's the thought that counts. Even if that thought is in the form of bunny slippers.

    reply to Kelly
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    Regifting is another form of recycling and it isn't wrong! Why keep something you aren't going to use? In a sense, you are continuing to spread the love that someone gave to you, so you're paying it forward. At least you gave it to someone you know will use and love it.

    reply to Michelle
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    I would agree with the ladies above! Instead of wasting the tea, give it to someone who will appreciate it. If you spend alot of time wrapping it and make it look really snazzy I am sure that your re-gifting guilt will be gone in a flash.

    reply to Michelle
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    Hell yeah, regifting is the best! Especially with the bath&body giftsets that you always receive from the "i-don't-know-you-so-well-so-let me-get-you-this-generic-gift" group of friends and family. Who really likes Juniper Breeze scent anyways?

    Just don't regift something that's actually been used like a scented candle that's been lit before...that's crossing the tacky line.

    reply to Sara
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    I am a complete advocate of this. Hey why do you think craigslist is so popular. Why should re-gifting be bad when you are doing everything to not hurt them. Would it be better to say to the person "Hey you don't know me" or "What the f--- am I suppose to do with that" or "What in the H-- were you thinking?"
    NO! Think of it as recycling to keep feeling intact. In a sense you are paying it forward.

    reply to Suzanna
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    To be honest, re gifting isn't wrong - if you haven't used the product! It's awful when someone either doesn't know you personally and ends up giving you a gift that is of no use to you, or worse, when someone who should know your tastes, gives you something completely opposite of what you would like.

    As you said, it's the thought that counts, but in the long run, does that really benefit you? Just make sure that you're not re-gifting a present to someone You know would not like the gift! And, yes, it's the thought that counts....still applies! So, make sure to give a gift that is tasteful and reflects who you are as a giver and who the person is as a receiver.

    reply to Nikki
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    Wrong? Not at all! It was thoughtful for you to be gracious and receive it and it was thoughtful to pass it on to someone who luvs it! Two winners out of one gift! Wait! Three! The one who bought it for you in the first place enjoyed giving it:)

    reply to RockinGoldenGirl
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    Man who regift tea, land in hot water.

    reply to John
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    Sexcee,
    I donít think re-gifting is wrong, especially during these bleak economic times. Youíre able to give someone a present and have money for your bills.

    Naturally, you need to remember not to give the present back to the original giver. And thereís what I consider the Golden Rule of giving: Choose a present that fits the recipient in terms of the personís tastes and preferences.

    One of my first experiences with re-gifting was when I was a teen-ager. My mother gave a gray stuffed animal dog to my 6-year-old brother Robert. I admired it and was touched when he wrapped it and gave it to me for my birthday. Itís among my cherished items today because the re-gifting demonstrated Robertís generous nature.

    You too were a perceptive presenter when you gave the basket of tea to your aunt. The person who gifted you with the basket either didnít know about your tea-free lifestyle or wanted to pass along the basket. Maybe a bargain price blinded the giver to the inappropriateness of that present. Or this could be an example of re-gifting gone wrong. However, on the plus side, the person provided you with the perfect present for your aunt.


    reply to Liz
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    ALWAYS re-gift to those who dare send you Shit Gifts. An eye for an eye, a poop for a poop.

    This time next year, I will exact revenge by re-gifting leg warmers.

    reply to Irene
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    Hi Sexcee, no re-gifting is not wrong as long as it's done with tact and discretion, and preferably the sooner the better. Happy gift giving!

    reply to mia
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    I think you should regift the Tea from last year, this year, to the person who gave it to you :)

    reply to Janet
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    Yenta Mary, you hit the nail right on the head. Your rules apply perfectly. Re-gifting is fine as long as you feel the person you are re-gifting to will like / use the gift, you are not re-gifting to the person who originally gave it to you and the re-gift itself is new. Brand new...not gently used. I would have no problem being the recipient of a "re-gift" pending it meant the requirements stated. One man's trash is another man's treasure. Look how many people scour yard sales and such.

    reply to Otisol
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    Honey: Don't you know that re-gifting is actually part of the recycling movement. It's politically correct as well as economically smart. Just remember who gave it to you and don't send it to them. They may not understand the significance of recycling.

    reply to Dorothy
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    Miss Sexcee, when it comes to gift giving, it truly is the thought that counts. But when it comes to RECEIVING... well... I say fake it 'til you make it. Even if you hate the gift, it's important to be a gracious receiver. Calico oven mitts? I love them! An electric dog polisher? How did you know?!! The ability to receive a gift...ANY gift... is a sign of a well-bred person. If it's truly ghastly, you can always give it to your favorite charitable re-sale shop. But if you think someone you know might like it... like the tea you received... definitely put it in the re-gift pile. I keep a little shelf in my closet filled with unwanted, misfit gifts. Here's the rule, though: put a little post-it note on the gift reminding you who gave it to you, when, and for what occasion. You don't want to run the risk of any embarrassing social cross-contamination. And here's a novel idea to avoid this problem altogether: if someone is kind enough to ask you what you want for your birthday or Christmas... TELL them! I find that if you tell people what would make you happy, they'll often deliver the goods. Then everybody wins.

    reply to Donna
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    People re-gift every day. We do not like every gift we get. The best thing to do is to be respectful, say thank you, and then regift! It's a beautiful thing!

    reply to Connie
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    Hell no! But it's your own damn fault if you re-gift within the family or a close circle of friends. Be prepared for trouble.

    reply to Alena
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    Paul wrote: Ever hear of a reformed tea drinker? Best thing you could possibly have done. I'm a tea drinker to the extent that Ceylon wasn't an island before I came along. Unless we're fed tea regularly, we eat bits of the planet by putting them into tea bags and drinking them. You've probably saved North America. Anyone wants to re-gift an E Type Jaguar, let me know.

    I've found another Jag person. Yay. Brilliant choice Mate!

    reply to mia
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    Regifting rocks! I regift all the time. It saves you money, you can make other people happy and your gift can be the gift that keeps on giving. Don't hate, participate.

    reply to Ms. Ade
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    There's nothing wrong with regifting. What's wrong is not putting thought into a gift, whether it's first or second run. Many shop owners say that a surprising number of shoppers have no idea what to get gift recipients. One woman who owns a Baltimore children's toy store told me that many times shoppers don't know the age of the children on their gift lists. The advice of the shop owners is to try to ascertain even a nugget of information about the person. For example, if they live in a certain part of a city, they might enjoy a photo book of the history of the area. Another suggestion is to give a gift everyone would enjoy such as a calendar. If that gift is a re-gift, that's fine!

    Do me one favor though? Don't be an idiot like me and forget to take a personal note from the ORIGINAL giver out of the gift before you regift it. Yes, I did that. 10 years ago. I'm still haunted by it. YIKES!

    reply to Nancy
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    Sexcee,

    The once popular TV show, Seinfeld, dedicated an episode to the wrongness of re-gifting.

    Re-gifting is not wrong. It just needs to be done in the right way.

    The right way to re-gift is to ensure that the person who gave you the gift, and the person you will soon give the gift to, never, ever, ever meet.

    Sounds simple, sure. But it's not.

    You need a game plan. You can't just look at the here an now when deciding on the likelyhood of whether the two know each other. You have to look at the past. Had they met? Kids in the same chorus line? You have to look at the future. Could they meet? Could some small gathering ever possibly contain these two people from your life in the same room?

    Best way to work through the dilemma--write it out. Scenario after scenario. Once you are sure -- I'm talking 100% positive -- that the paths shall not cross, then go for it.

    After all, it's about giving, not receiving. Right?

    reply to Phillip
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    Um, no. Unless youíre going to transform into a tea drinker (which actually isnít a bad ideaÖ) Can you spell anti-oxidant? Have you ever enjoyed a warm glass with your socks on and the radio off? But really: put yourself in your auntís position. Would you be upset if you found out your niece had re-gifted something you had given her? Probably not. And clearly you two arenít THAT close if she doesnít know that youíve sworn of tea for life. Nor did she inquire as to what youíd like as a gift. (Whoís to say the tea she gave you is a re-gift already?) If people really care about someone using their gift then they should perhaps do a bit of investigation or ask a family member what Sexcee would like for Christmas? Perhaps if she knew your Vixen name was Sexcee she would have thought about gifting you a basket of aphrodisiacs or massage oils? F tea. I say as long as you gave the tea away (and didnít sell it on the black tea market or throw it in to the Boston harbor) youíre right with God.


    reply to K Noel
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    The only time it is wrong to re-gift is when you get caught!! Make sure that there is no link between your friend and your Aunt.

    For all you know, the person who gave it to you might of re-gift!!

    Good Luck

    reply to Deanna
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    Spread the tea love. I don't think it's wrong. Just as long as your aunt's daughter didn't give it to you. Especially now when everyone is trying to save money.

    reply to Tammy
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    Hell no. Re-gifting is the greatest thing in the world. If you aren't going to use something, why should it just sit there?
    I wouldn't care at all if someone re-gifted a gift of mine, if they weren't going to use it. I'd be happy someone was getting some use out of it.

    reply to Thomas
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    Absolutely not! As long as you make sure the person you decide to regift to is far away from the original gift-giver circle. That said, regift like there's no tomorrow. Like they say, one woman's crap is another woman's treasure! Kinda what crosses my mind when I found out my ex-bf is dating again!

    reply to Jocelyn
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    It's the only way to go! Just make sure you don't re-gift to the same person!

    Also, make sure there are no signatures or notes to you on any tags attached to the gifts. And make sure it doesn't look old or weathered. I re-gifted a set of candles that looked a little shabby and I was very embarrassed when I saw them at my friends house displayed on the table during a dinner party. I think she was actually trying to call me out on it!@

    reply to Suzanne
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    I think re-gifting is absolutely necessary. However, you do have to taper your re-gift to the wants and needs of said receiver. If your gal pal is a vegetarian, obviously a ten-pound honey baked ham with assorted condiments isn't going to be terribly thoughtful. However, maybe you have a crafty friend who wants the "sew your own scarf in-a-box" five-piece set. To each their own.

    reply to Kaitlin
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    Dear re-gifter, put your guilt and holiday woes at ease. I like to think of re-gifting as recycling. You're not going to use it-- and you instinctively knew someone who would love the gift that you would never use (we can't all be tea drinkers). And now your aunt loves you forever and she's at home right now enjoying what I like to imagine is a life time supply of tea. I will give you one more piece of advice: don't regift to the person who gave, and don't regift to family or friends of the giver. This is important!

    reply to Danielle
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    Sometimes re-gifting is just downright evil.

    For example, last year my friend gave me a belt that was so clearly something I would never ever wear - I 100% knew it was a freebie she'd gotten and had passed along to me. It didn't help that the belt was accompanied by a hodgepodge of "goodies" she'd clearly gotten out of gift bags from the functions she so often attends.

    The lack of thought and effort hurt my feelings. Call me petty, but I did not get her a gift for her birthday - re-gifted or not. Instead, I took gifts out of the equation and took her out to a nice meal.

    Gifts are not about the money. They are about the thought and intention.

    Re-gifting is only okay if you give it with the same thought and care as you would a gift you'd actually purchased. If that is the case, then fine. But if not, get yourself out the door and go shopping! Even if you can only spend $5, spend it on something you know your friend or family member will cherish.

    reply to Lauren
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    It is the thought that counts love, and everybody loves the feeling of giving a gift to someone that they absolutely adore. Usually thereís a correlation between how thoughtful it was and how much we love the gift. The tea basket sounds like a fierce present for someone who loves tea, but a crappy present for someone who doesnít. Here are a couple of etiquette suggestions: 1) Re-gift to someone who you think will actually like the gift 2) Donít re-gift with the same people who will be there to open presents together. Otherwise re-gifting can be quite resourceful, I mean, I bet your aunt is as happy as a pig in shit with all her tea.

    reply to The Stupes
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