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Vixens, do all men watch porn?

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. For the most part, he's great, but I have an issue with him watching porn. I haven't always felt this way. My ex boyfriend and I used to watch it together sometimes and it was never an issue.

But with "Joe" it seems like I'm always bringing it up. He works a job where is away a lot. While he is away he jerks off to porn.

It bothers me but if Iím not there, it's better than him finding someone in the real word to satisfy him.

When he is at home, maybe 2-3 of the days he jerks off to porn. This upsets me and I obsess about it. I ask him all the time if he watched porn today.

We fight a lot because of how much it bothers me. We have sex about 3-4 times while he is home and sometimes I feel like if he jerked off that day, he feels obligated to have sex with me because he knows it bothers me.

I was thinking of seeing a therapist because he tells me that I need to change and not let it bother me and that most girls aren't like me.

He said if he doesn't jerk off once in a while, he is more likely to cheat, but then goes and says he would never cheat on me.

I need to get this sorted out to be in a relationship. I told him we should split up so I could get a healthy perspective but he said he wanted to stay and work things out and offered to stop watching porn until I'm "comfortable" with him doing it again.

So now he hasn't watched for a month and I find myself wondering if he is thinking about sleeping with other women he sees.

Do ALL guys watch this much porn?

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    Lots of people watch porn. Not everyone watches THAT much.

    reply to Luciferia
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    Yes, I would say most men watch porn, especially since Al Gore invented the internet.

    Men are visual and like looking at naked women and at people having sex.

    MANY women do, as well. I see it as a normal thing, and I suspect many would agree with me.

    What you are doing is fixating on this because of your own lack of self-esteem. It has become something that you cannot handle on your own, and something that will ultimately end your relationship if you don't seek help for it.

    He can promise you the world, but he's not going to stop looking at porn. He likes it, it excites him, it's how he gets off.

    You can certainly decide you can't handle it, but I think it goes further than the porn, to your self-image. This was just the indicator.

    reply to ehvwon
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    I watch porn. I know lots of girls that watch more porn that guys. And there are lots of guys who like porn.

    The bottom line isn't "does he watch too much," the bottom line is that YOU have a problem with it. And I don't think that's going to change, and if it's something he enjoys, he shouldn't have to change it.

    The fact that HE likens the amount he watches porn to his likelihood of cheating on you is what bothers me here. That's weird.

    As for thinking of sleeping with other people, most of us have our minds wander sometimes and wonder about other people. That's natural.

    All in all, I'd say that this probably is not the guy for you if you are so fixated on him watching porn. Sorry, but until you're comfortable with it or realize porn isnt' a threat to you, I just dont' see this working out.

    reply to Carly
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    I looooove porn. I actually watch more than my boyfriend. I don't really watch it to get off though... i'm more for when it comes to that.

    I don't understand the hype of porn. I mean if he was turning you down to turn to porn instead, thats one thing. But if you two are still maintaining a sex filled relationship, I don't see an issue.

    reply to Bee
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    meet halfway? what does that even mean?

    reply to Bee
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    I know there's a whole big thing about all guys watch porn. And obviously, all guys have watched porn, or will certainly look at it when it's in front of them. HOWEVER--I can honestly say that the vast majority of my boyfriends didn't watch porn on a regular basis while we were together. The one I lived with, I just know didn't. We shared a computer, we were near each other all of the time--if he was able to sneak in porn at any point, bully for him. I can't imagine when he would have. I remember when another boyfriend actually cancelled his porn subscription when we first started dating--though it wasn't for me. I told him I didn't care about it. He was just cutting back expenses. Another one just flat out didn't like porn. He said vintage porn was too cheesy and fake, newer porn was too extreme or fetish related--he was totally into visuals (that I usually provided) but he just couldn't find porn that he liked. And it wasn't so importnat to him that he needed to try really hard.

    So for me, hearing about this, his porn habit seems excessive, and quite frankly it would bother me, too. But not really out of jealousy...I think I'd more just be bothered that they were so very, very oversexed that they NEEDED to watch porn this much.

    But the moral of my ramblings is this: No, not all guys watch porn to this extent. Whether it's right or wrong to watch porn to this extent is kind of irrelevent. If what you're really asking is: If I leave this relationship and find myself in another one, will I invariably still be competing with porn?, then the answer is no. There are, in fact, guys who do not watch porn this much.

    But if you're looking for a guy who will never dabble (though I'm of the opinion you don't need to know about ever little insignificant dabble) then you're probably going to be shit out of luck.

    reply to Samantha
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    Wait, you guys have been together 4 years? When did the porn thing start bothering you, or have you been letting this fester for 4 years? Or is it a new thing with him watching it? I think that depending on your answer, a lot of things will change.

    reply to Carly
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    There's something else underlying here, a bigger issue; if he was treating you in such a way that you knew you he was crazy about you, that he valued you, and you're the most important and beautiful woman in the world to him, then this porn-watching wouldn't bother you so much. I would re-evaluate the relationship, he must be doing OTHER things to make you insecure, and here you are second-guessing your own judgement -- believe me, it's not you!

    in all of my relationships, most of the guys watched porn. The ones where it didn't bother me were the ones who treated me great on a regular basis. The ones where it bothered me, it was an unhealthy relationship otherwise. I really think this is not all about the porn.

    reply to Diana
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    Does one submit $250 to for setup fees with vixen?

    reply to Kappa
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