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I was out with some friends at a club and we were dancing. A guy came up to dance with me and he was a very touchy kind of dancer. I REALLY don't like this bumping kind of dancing, he looked at me so confused and ran off. Am I scaring men off? Are we supposed to get that close to men at clubs? Help because I want to meet a new guy!

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    No, it just means he REALLY can't dance, so when he saw that he couldn't do the I'm-a-guy-wearing-a-striped-button-up-with-a-beer up and down dryhump technique, he ran off because he realized his secret of being a rhythmless/poor dancer may have been exposed!

    Wait for a guy that's willing to expose himself as a crappy dancer. ;)

    reply to Hercules
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    Oh, Mardi of course i appreciate all your help! I am so lost some times! Thanks!

    reply to Shauna
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    Hercules wrote: No, it just means he REALLY can't dance, so when he saw that he couldn't do the I'm-a-guy-wearing-a-striped-button-up-with-a-beer up and down dryhump technique, he ran off because he realized his secret of being a rhythmless/poor dancer may have been exposed! Wait for a guy that's willing to expose himself as a crappy dancer. ;)

    That makes sense. Great!

    reply to Shauna
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    i hate the booty hump dance or the man sandwiches, ugh! so dumb and boring. i like to see men or women dancing whetther it is good or bad, actually i like the bad ones cause they are awsome, anyway i am having a bla bla day so... no you are not scaring the men off, atleast not the ones you want, any guy that thinks it's okay to booty hump a stranger is not a guy i would want around me later on.
    keep looking for the good guy that treats you right and stay away from the crotch shakers.

    reply to esther
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    i like booty dancing! it's fun, but i loath when a stranger thinks it's okay to approach me from behind. when did that start becoming acceptable?

    btw, there's nothing wrong with you bebe.

    reply to Amanda
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    There's a reason they made "Night at the Roxbury," most people find unsolicited bumping a problem. He obviously wasn't the right guy for you to meet. Hang in there, when you find the right guy, you won't have to worry about the gross ones anymore.

    reply to Tiffany
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    You're not 'scaring men off'. If they approached you it's because they either had an ego already or developed the confidence to come up and dance with you, but were shot down when they realized you weren't about to rub yourself all over them. If you were an easy, everyone can screw me, kind of girl - you would have let this bumping and grinding continue. BUT, you're not - which is great and you shouldn't be the least bit worried about it. Clubs aren't the best places to find the gentlemen we women deserve. Try someplace a bit more mellow when browsing for bachelors. Keep what interests you the most in mind when evaluating anyone you may soon meet and think about how compatible the two of you really are. The right guy who isn't into way-too-close dancing at the club will come along soon enough

    reply to Maureen
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    Practice touching your Ken doll. Practice dancing with some gay men.

    When, someday, you feel comfortable touching and being touched by a real man, grab one.

    Seriously though, it really is all about touch and if you consistently reject men in this most basic way, they will generally accept that you don't want them and find someone who does.

    If you just don't like the guy and don't like being touched by him, that's fine too.

    Here's how people really dance:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmzPH2B9P3k&feature=related

    reply to Emelio
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    S
    Ok, if you hit up a club and think the possibility of a man trying to grind with you is nonexistent, then of course, you are mistaken. Regardless of whether it's right/wrong/trashy- whatever. This type of stuff is common at clubs.
    So yes, perhaps by remaining distant you are 'scaring' them off..but do you really want to attract that type of man to you, is the question.

    Grinding can be fun and it doesn't need to lead to ANYthing more than that.
    But if it's not for you, then I suggest you dance with a group of your girlfriends so it makes it tougher for the guy to grind with you, and/or of you're going out specifically to meet men, then please look elsewhere- not a club.

    reply to S
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    Absolutely not, you're just meeting those kinds of men because you're going to clubs. Elsewhere, men are expected to show some class.

    reply to Luciferia
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    it is never okay for a man to touch a woman's body (and vice versa) without permission. period. there's nothing wrong with you. there's something wrong with a culture that deems it acceptable for men to walk up to women they don't know and dry hump them and then make them feel as if it's THEIR fault for not wanting it. same goes for same-sex relations. our bodies are our temples; we determine who gets let in. don't let anyone make you feel otherwise OR ashamed of not wanting them. put yourself first.

    want to meet men? try activities where the kind of guy you're in to might hang out and where conversation is more likely than dry humping: coffee shops, nice days at a park, sports activities, house parties, etc.

    reply to melissa
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    There are all kinds of guys. Unfortunately you have to wade through the gauntlet of piggy ones to get to the nice guys on the other side of the crowd who aren't so pushy! Shove those rude dudes off and keep your focus on the nicer guys who are waiting to have a nice dance and a polite conversation before or after.

    reply to Terra
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    First of all you're at a dance club, there are no rules as long as his hand isn't in your pants or up your skirt. Just have fun and dance. Nothing is worse than a prune on the dance floor. Save the innocent girl crap for when you're dancing in your living room during 106 & Park. Now as far as meeting guys, ummm...the guys at the club are usually drunk and looking for a good time, with the exception of like 2%. So if you're willing to stalk out the good one at the club go for it. I suggest you just let life go with the flow and don't look to meet men just socialize and network at different cultural events that interest you or chill at Starbucks and get online and see how the hot guy with a great smile will just walk into your life and buy you a cappucino.

    reply to Star
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    Always trust your instincts, you don't want your future husband to be grinding up on you. That's not a lovely story to tell at weddings or family gatherings.

    Maybe you could also reevaluate the places you are meeting guys because frankly, guys are out there for a reason: to get laid. So, don't get your hopes up. Join a meet up group, go to central park, the library, or a gym; your chances maybe be higher.

    reply to Leconte
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    Of course not! Us ladies have to stick up for ourselves! It's your body and you have the right to protect it.

    reply to rina
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