Ask E. Jean - Tormented? Driven Witless? Whipsawed by confusion?

Advice Vixens

I had written about this guy who was always hot and cold. He promised to marry me and wavered on it a day later. He got back and after a few weeks dumped me for good stating he was not happy about this and I was friend zone for him. 3 months later this guy what's apped me telling me he apologizes for whatever I went through at the time.. I never kept in touch with him or tried contacting him after he dumped me.. now another 2 months later he contacted me saying he went to s certain place that reminded him of me.. I gave a non comittal answer.. a couple of hours later he got back saying he misses that time it was fun and he sometimes regrets his decision. I said I understand and told him that he just has a habit of second guessing and he probably feels that about all his exes. He said no that's not exactly true.. there is a part of me that wants to ask him so many questions coz I just don't get his behavior...at different times I think of different things to say to him ranging from I hope u find someone that's right for u to u had your chance... I am now engaged to a great guy who really loves me and values me... any advice on what I should tell this wavering guy?

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    Well, the good news is you're engaged to a great guy who loves and values you -- so there's no wrong way to brush this other guy off.

    His behaviour is actually very easy to explain, and you got it right the first time. He is unsure of himself, so he eventually second-guesses every decision he makes. But hey....does he feel "different" about you than his other exes? Sure ... in the sense that we ALL have slightly different impressions of and responses to other people....

    Certainly the classy way to go is to tell him, "I hope you find someone who's right for you."

    Even better? There's an unspoken subtext to that message....

    "You had your chance."

    reply to Kal
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