Ask E. Jean - Tormented? Driven Witless? Whipsawed by confusion?

Advice Vixens

Hello Vixies!

I got a dilemma for the work place. I have been working for the last 7 years and there is this co worker that joined 2 years ago. Since the time she joined I have always helped her bringing her upto speed. Most of her questions were really silly and I was still patient. However with time I have realized that she is very cunning because this year even after helping her she gave me a very flat feedback , something like "she answers when she knows". She recently got promoted to my level and now after the feedback incident I have absolutely stopped helping her for most part. The other day she asked me a question about her work to which I replied I don't know to which her response was you are in the review and you still don't know. Never mind! Basically she was saying that "were you sleeping in the review"!
I was too shocked and just replied saying that it is het work she should know about more than me.
But I am burning inside and I feel I should do something about this.
I feel like telling another teammate. My Manager has recently switched roles but still is around somewhat. I feel I should complain to him. But I am a non confrontational person and hate getting into conflicts.
I would prefer to complain over chat but everyone around me says that I should complain in person. What do you think? Am I overacting? She has been bugging me with her questions for the last 2 years. Most of which are silly and can be easily answered by her. To my credit for most part I have answered with patience.
My manager no longer works in my building so I cannot just call him. He comes here only once a week that too there is no guarantee.

  • Cast your vote
    for Best Advice
  • give advice
    send this question to a friend

    The advantage to an in-person meeting over chat is that anything that puts the situation in writing could come back to haunt you. A friendly in-person conversation can come off more informally, while still getting your point across. ("That Denise! She's sweet, but does she ask *you* a lot of silly irrelevant questions too?")

    At this point, though, I wouldn't worry about it too much. She's not coming to you with questions too often anymore; you're unlikely to need her support for any issues; and your manager probably already knows what Denise is like, and factors it into his thinking when it comes to evaluating her comments.

    But if an opportunity comes up in discussion? Sure, you can lightly and laughingly mention her habit of asking inane, rhetorical or stunningly obvious questions. Submitting this particular set of concerns in writing, however, is somewhat risky.

    reply to Kal
    send this answer to a friend

    Give advice or add a comment: