I hope I can say this as gently as I want to:

Ugh, I look at some of the high school kids now around NYC and try to remember what the hell my 14 year old self thought was sooooo cute about them. All I see is pimples and gawkiness! It's adorable yes, but not "cute."

One thing to your question C is the inherent misogyny of it. Women weren't considered ABLE to be sexual predators in the past. We're learning that's not so now. Strangely, I think the feminist movement has actually opened up people's mind about gender roles so much that we're finally realizing that women CAN be predators and men CAN be victims, and not just of other men.

you can't really rape a boy, at least a woman can't, unless she's forcing something up his ass. for a boy to get busy, the dick has to be standing at attention. in my experience, that happens only when that dick is wanting something. Mary K. LeTourneau comes to mind. I'd have fucked her from here to Indonesia when i was 14. without doubt, the 14-year old boy "liked" it.

as far as the psychological aspects of this issue go, i think that raises more complicated questions. clearly, a 14-year old boy could be almost irrepairably fucked over by some seductive, twisted older bitch whose intent is to prey on his vulnerable sexuality for the purpose of fulfilling some fucked up needs she has. if he is a sensitive kid, and not just your typical testosterone-ridden little monkey, he could be hurt.

i'd have loved to, and tried to bang, a couple of my high school teachers. i wasn't successful, but i am cheering on any healthy, ballsy young 14-year old who can get there.

see? that's a very conflicting pov. so on one hand, it could fuck him up....on another hand, a kid might like it?

also fyi, you can rape a boy...i just saw this really sick Oprah show about a mother who raped her son repeatedly....long gross story and i don't want to get into that, but just wanted you to know that it is possible.

My understanding is The wind blows and a fourteen year old dick gets hard. It is the responsibility of the adult not to climb on.

i definitely agree it's the adult's responsibility....but i wonder if a teenage boy likes it and it doesn't fuck him up as much as people might think. but like gordy said, if he's a sensitive kid who falls for some type of twisted seduction, then it might really mess him up

It's all about control and power; an adult should never subjugate a child in that manner, regardless of whether the child is old enough to get an erection or "consent."

Even if he did want it, it is the responsibility of the adult to not even try. A 14 year olds brain is not developed enough to measure the consequences of that action. A woman that would even think of that with a child is simply disgusting, it is not right, it’s illegal, and anyone who violates that should rot in jail.

For as many times as it might not fuck up a child 3 times that amount could, it's best not to take those chances.

okay everyone...i get it and i know that the adult is the bad, the kid is the victim.

i'm more curious about whether or not it would mess the kid up or is he growing up thinking "yeah, i was hot for teacher and i got to bang her"

remember, Van Halen wrote a song about it....

Depends on the child, some people hear my story and many would say that if I was a druggy or some other crap that I would have an excuse to do so. But I am not I have chosen to live a certain way. As far as boys goes well if he was say 17 and he wanted to then that would be a conquest to him.

yes...it's a slippery slope on this one....a few yrs could possibly make a HUGE difference. but not with a girl

1. In order to be a good teacher, you REALLY must bring yourself down to their level / get in their heads. You REALLY can't let yourself think "I am the head honcho, these are my puppies to train." You have GOT to think like them ... or at least understand how they are thinking. The problem is, you should only be thinking that way between bells. Some teachers seem to become that way permanently. Some teachers seem to have absolutely no adult friends. Most of us have very few (due to time constraints ... which include wacky grading marathons ... pulling all-nighters for an entire weekend to grade ... stuff like that). It takes a tremendous amount of self-awareness and balance to teach (kids) successfully.

2. What was this woman thinking? What is wrong with the women who do this????? Talk about 2 seconds of satisfaction!!!! ewwwwwwwwwwwwww! puke.

3. One of my former student's mom's slept with one of his classmates. That woman was harrassed by teenage boys for as long as I knew her. What a short-sighted decision. I still don't get it.

I don't know how it can't affect a minor when they are in a sexual relationship with an adult; they may be physically ready to have sex, but mentally and emotionally, they're just not there. I can think of someone I know of who was 12 years old and a girl living in his house had sex with him and he's going to be fucked up for years.

He won't process thoughts of sex and approach relationships the same way - he's been emotionally harmed by it, in a major way.

Men who look back on their young adolescence and think it would have been great to have sex with their teachers are saying so with the emotional/mental maturity of an adult; not what their child selves would have had.

I also think an adult, male or female, who looks at a child and thinks of sex and acts on it, has something very, very wrong in their makeup to somehow rationalize that as being ok.

Men can ABSOLUTELY be raped. The idea that if he gets an erection he must want it is like saying if the woman is wearing a short skirt or had a little too much to drink, she's asking for it.

Not all 14 year old boys would be permanently affected by this, I'd imagine, but I think a huge majority would be- just like 14 year old girls. It's so much about control and manipulation when dealing with someone that young, that's bound to fuck someone up.

Oh and grown men saying they wish they could have slept with their teachers is totally different than someone actually sleeping with his teacher at the age of 14. A grown man is looking back and thinking how hot that woman was and maybe how he used to fantasize about her. He's not thinking about what it would have been like when he was 14, he's thinking about it after a lifetime of experience.

Control and manipulation. Yup.

But I still don't get it ... why would anyone want/need THAT much control and manipulation? They don't like the surprises of a real relationship? What the heck?

Just because your body responds to stimulus doesn't mean you "want it." A woman might even get wet when being raped because her vagina says, "Oh, there's a penis there, best lube up." Our genitals don't really think things through.

But statutory rape is different than rape--not better or worse, but it's rape for a different reason. Not because the kid said no, but because the kid is not in a position to say yes.

It's like having sex with a very drunk incapacitated person. Them not saying "no" is besides the point.

Girl or boy, whether or not they like it, it's wrong. It's wrong for many reasons. A teacher, to a student, is the epitome of authority figure. And it completely perverts what an authority figure is, what sex is. It's the worst, WORST kind of sexual harrassment, and yes, it's definitely rape.

What's more, it's wrong to me for the same reason, to me, that incest is wrong--because it eliminates a safe haven from sex. It gives the impression that in every facet of your life, sex is expected. And also, that you are completely at the mercy of any authority figure. Sex is among the most vulnerable things you can do. How could a kid of any gender not feel that someone who is a teacher, who seems to have control over so much (now including their body) isn't completely in control of them in every way?

Whether or not a boy enjoys it, it doesn't mean it's right. People enjoy all kinds of self destructive things.

I should also say, a lot, a lot, A LOT of my callers have stories about an adult woman giving them their first sexual experiences when they were about 14-ish.

Could they be just fantasies? Could they be lying? Absolutely. But if they're not? Well, it would make complete sense.

Edit: Got rid of my example...you never really know who's wandering through this site, even though I didn't give specifics.

this post is one reason i love you, though i behaved shamefully last night. the ultimate truth here, all pious analysis aside, is that HELL YES there are boys who will like such an experience and not be particularly hurt by it. remember, a bunch of these boys are going to grow up in any case to be soldiers and brawlers and misogynists and basically testosterone driven machines. it's not like fucking the pretty teacher, which includes the inherent benefit of an orgasm, and the bragging rights with his friends, is going to irrepairably fuck him.

i loved van halen when i was a teenager. hot for teacher was a fucking anthem. so many of us wanted to fuck some teachers so badly that to have gotten the chance wouldn't have been anything other than great.

so let's back off on the piety here, folks. boys want to fuck.

I should mention my callers who give me these stories are largely crossdressing submissives. Not terribly mysogynistic.

they need to join a sports team, do manly things, shoot things. above all else they should stop blaming teacher. she was only really saying, "C'mon, sweetie, try this. You'll like it. And I'll like you liking it." Pretty healthy, basic human stuff. Guys who respond to it by becoming cross-dressing submissives probably need some modern miracle pharmaceuticals. They need something. Maybe a mild beating. I don't know.

I have got a sex drive to match Tiger Woods' and it would never, ever, ever occur to me to have sex with a 14 year old kid.

There is not a damn thing sexy about a 14 year old boy, whether he wants it, likes it or goes along with it or not. That woman is fucked in the head.

Who knows if this encounter will fuck up the kid or not. In order to have a healthy attitude about sex, I think kids need to be kids and not be sexualized at such a young age. 14 is too young to be fucking if you ask me.

Also, depending on the community and his parents, he may feel a lot of shame which will definitely mess with his head.

And ya, that Teacher is slime.

I agree...it's so weird that these women are getting their deeply insecure sick and twisted needs met by 14 yr old boys....it's soooo gross. 14 yr old boys are gross.....and she's married with kids.

yes, i think it's true that there are some boys that would like it....but i also think it depends on the situation.

and yeah, that's why that song was such a hit, because it's true! many boys would like to bang their teachers

good point about the shame

they're very sick people....married with kids and goes after a 14 yr. old boy?

These boys aren't just boys, they're kids. They don't start looking like men until later because females mature faster than males. Its pedophilia as far as I'm concerned, and a sickness that may never be able to be cured. She needs to be punished.

As for the boy, I'm sure it was awesome. That still doesn't make it right.

Sex is for adults, not children. Any thoughts that it is great for the boys in these situations is part of our ridiculous double standard.

Males are supposed to be ready for sex the minute they are born, ready to screw anything and everything at any time. Failure is not an option, hence all the viagra even for those who really shouldn't need it.

On the other hand, I sometimes wonder who the hell they are supposed to be doing it with since our society still looks askance at women who may actually enjoy sex and may have had multiple partners or even, gasp!, a few one night stands.

These attitudes may shield a boy that age to a certain extent because although they may be confused and hurt by having an adult violate them instead of protecting them, society doesn't blame them the same way.

It is completely possible for a man to be raped by a woman and even grown men who have been in this situation have issues for years because they think something is wrong with them for getting an erection which "allows" the rape to happen.

In the end, while there may be some differences, I think boys and girls are both at risk for a lot of psychological complications in their lives when this happens.

Despite the availability of manly remedies such as sports and shooting things (gee, why not just rub dirt on it and walk it off?) children should be allowed to be children and the adults in their lives should take care of them not abuse them even if there is the common myth that boys aren't as affected by inappropriate sex as girls.

I remember one of my exes, who told me about a time when he had sex with one of his teacher's. He was about 16 years old, and she was 34.
She was his first lover.

He said it was one of the best experiences of his life, and he would not change it for the world.

I find all the answers on here to be quite thought provoking.